OMG! - PATTAYA

10th - 12th Dec 2019

Work that out!

It is a 2½ hour bus journey south from Bangkok Ekkamai station to the seaside 'resort' of Pattaya. A reasonabably comfortable trip which cost all of 118 Baht (£3). Pattaya is a 5km long and narrow town with a sandy beach all the way down the west side. It is almost joined to the south with the town of Jomtien, another long slim town with a beach down the west side, with a harbour and cruise ship terminal between them. 

The northern end of Pattaya (where the main bus station is located) is quite upmarket with some expensive hotels and shops. As you go south it becomes progressively more depraved culminating at the southern end with 'Walking Street' (left).

...but before I go on to describe this area in detail, and I doubt if my powers of description will be up to it, I started off at an extraordinary 'museum' towards the northern end....

....this is called 'Art in Paradise', a 3D virtual reality experience. It is a large 'museum' on three floors with a $15 entry fee. It is indeed a most fascinating hi-tech adventure. You can load an App on your phone which enables you to film what look like wall-sized static scenes and they then spring into dramatic life, with you in the picture if you have someone with you to hold the phone (which I didn't but managed to conscript the odd passer-by). The results are supposed to be recorded on some 'gallery' or other. I tried this and it worked, but I can't find the recordings for some reason. Must have failed to push the correct button.

Left: This is one such scene. On the 'App' the sea  splashes and the swordfish leaps about dramatically, all in vivid 3D. Impressive, and I wish I could show you the animated results.

Right: Another scene where the elephant approaches out of the wall with a monkey running up to feed it a banana. Again, 3D and very realistic.

Left: Another example with flames raging behind the throne, a leopard comes out from behind to sit at your feet.

There were many more of these dramatic interactive displays, but you get the gist. There is a website (Art in Paradise) which I think will give you a better idea. I have never seen anything like it before! (but then I am usually the last to see such things).

As well as these there are many static scenes which you can become part of (if you can find someone to take the photos).

A few examples below:

These poor photos don't do them justice. I should have come better prepared with someone a bit more tech savvy.

















There are also examples of optical illusions such as the pic at the top and include:












Left: When close up it just looks like trees. Stand back and you see a tiger's head (or is it a lion).

Right: Stand close and it looks like just a flock of birds. Stand back and it is a woman's face.

Again, not so apparent in a photo....you have to be able to move to and fro. Other opical illusions were impossible to photo because they involved your movement.

I spent about 2 hours in this place and was constantly fascinated.

I'm going to leave it there while I have a drink and compose myself to try to describe the rest of the town and Jomtien........

NO 'ELL IN FAR EAST

7th - 9th Dec 2019

Festive entrance to a Bangkok shop. Ho Ho Ho!

As promised there is nothing much to report from this part of the world that hasn't already been covered in previous blogs. I arrived in Bangkok expecting to spend a few days with a French ex-colleague and family but unfortunately he had been recalled to Paris at short notice so I was left with five days to kill here. This blog will just be a hotchpotch of sights and events with one or two 'interesting' new ventures.

There were plenty of Christmas decorations around town. I stayed, as I had done previously, at the Narai Hotel on Silom Road. Booked in for a couple of nights through Expedia.co.uk (at the last minute) it is a very comfortable 4 star hotel and cost me about £40 per night which is a real bargain. It is near the efficient Metro (MRT) and Skytrain (BTS) stations and with plenty of shops, bars and restaurants nearby as well as the infamous Patpong streets, it is well located for amusement and to travel the city.

Bangkok traffic at rush hours can be total grid-lock. Right: There are useful signs over some of the main junctions which, if you were unfortunate enough to be travelling by car, show colour-coded areas of traffic flow (or not). Good idea...far too advanced for the UK.

Left: The tea room in the luxurious Oriental Hotel which is beside the Chao Phraya river. This place has lounges and bars named after famous authors (John Le Carre, Somerset Maugham, Joseph Conrad, amongst others) who used to frequent the place in earlier days. It is now the haunt of the Nouveau Riche and, presumably, wealthy 'celebrities'. I had a glass of wine in the riverside bar which cost about the same as night in the Narai.

Right: I called in at the British Club (near the Narai). It is a splendid place and has been in existence since 1903, always with British presidents/chairmen. It is a truly British establishment and on a par with the smarter clubs in London. As well as bedrooms, elegant bars and restaurant (serving roast beef etc.) it has a full sized swimming pool (with bar), glass backed squash courts, four tennis courts and even cricket nets. The inside sitting-room, leather armchairs occupied by slumbering gents,  even has (two day old) British newspapers to hand. It is a welcome oasis of peace, tranquility and civilised charm in what is otherwise a noisy, hectic and polluted city. Certainly worth joining if you are a Brit living in Bangkok. Behind my left shoulder in this photo is a British War Memorial. This was moved here from the elegant British Embassy when it was sold off a few years ago. I believe any Ambassadorial business is now conducted from a portacabin somewhere in the city. How the mighty have fallen! Pathetic.

I took a stroll around Lumpini Park. Several inter-connected lakes with swan-shaped pedal boats and lots of places to sit and.....sit. There are a few cafés in this park but they all seemed to be closed for some reason. I came across this gang of happy girls posing for a group photo. I was told they were on tour from the Philippines.

I was keen to visit the Royal Bangkok Sporting Club. Amongst other facilities it has a turf horse-racing track and I was keen to get in and see it. No way! Strictly members only and officious guards were on all the several gates to enforce the rule. Even my best bluffing failed to have any effect. I think I gathered that it is open to the public on Sundays when racing is on. They want their money. In the event I forgot to go on the Sunday I was there. En route I passed a small Buddhist shrine (left) by the main road. 

Small it may have been but there were lots of young people buying candles and wreaths and paying homage to the Buddha.

Left: A religious 'band' playing drums and whining string instruments plus dancers were present. They obviously take their Buddhist worshipping quite enthusiastically....even the youngsters. I believe it is all to do with 'ancestor worship' or somesuch family orientated praying, but I am no expert on this (or much else for that matter).

There are always shopgirls and boys wearing Father Christmas hats and reindeer antlers at this time of year, but this is the first time I have met a shopgirl wearing a Christmas tree. She was the one keen on taking this 'selfie'!

Of course I had to have a wander around Patpong, the market stall cum sex club area at the bottom of Silom Road (right) for old times sake. Actually it has become a pale imitation of the utterly debauched place I remember from 20 years ago. It still caters for much the same clientele but now more heavily regulated.

Some of the clubs are even quite honest about their staff.

Right: One of the ubiquitous Bangkok Tuk-Tuks. Even they have fallen victim to the eco-warriors in that their engines have been 'cleaned up' and they don't make the same characteristic 'tut-tuk' noise, or belch out that comely black smoke that they were once famous for. Of course they would still fall foul of any number of OTT 'elf 'n safety' regulations in UK. They used to be incredibly cheap but, thanks to the tourist onslaught, they are now rip-off expensive. I walk, or use the metro system.

Left: There is a lot of pavement art. This is part of a much longer work and I saw children happily hopping up and down it.

Right: An interesting piece of architecture. 

OK, that was a brief couple of days in Bangkok. Where to go next to fill in the remaining three? I had a flash of inspiration. I would go down to Pattaya, a town on the west coast to the south of Bangkok. I had heard a lot about this place previously...much of it fairly horrific but, being the intrepid explorer, I felt it needed some first-hand investigation. 

......to be continued.

CHRISTMAS. AGAIN.

5th Dec 2019

Two years ago I called it 'Chrexit', last year 'Christmiss' and this year it is 'No 'ell'. I am always keen to avoid the ghastly enforced commercial and social 'jolly' commitments surrounding the so-called 'festive' season of 'good will to all men' (no doubt considered a sexist 'unwoke' remark nowadays). Bah Humbug! Bugger it! I am going back Far East where, as most of them are not of the Christian faith, they have little idea of what Christmas is except that it is a good opportunity to have a bit of a giggle and sell lots of things to foreigners. There is always plenty of polystyrene snow with Father Christmases riding sleighs pulled by reindeer, girls in all the shops and restaurants wearing antler horns, 'We Wiss You a Merry Keesmah' playing in department stores and some elaborately decorated Christmas trees. They don't call it 'Christmas', it is always 'Merry Keesmah'. Good grief, these people have never seen snow and wouldn't know a reindeer from a rhinoceros.

I remember trying to explain to someone in Vietnam what Christmas is. By the time I had mentioned babies born of a virgin birth in a manger, Father Christmas (or Santa Claus) delivering gifts down chimneys, wise men following a star, elves at the North Pole and sodding reindeer I had not only confuser her but rather lost the plot myself.

Anyway, flying off initially to Bangkok to meet up with an amusing old French colleague and his charming Thai wife and family and then on to Việt Nam for more reunions where we will hopefully have a jolly time without much recourse to 'Merry Keesmah'. At least it is warm and the beer is cheap.

More to follow but I have covered this part of the world in tedious detail before so probably won't have much new to report. We shall see.....

SAYONARA NIPPON

25th - 26th Oct 2019

Never saw it.

Off back to UK by Aeroflot flight from Tokyo Narita airport via Moscow to London Heathrow.

Leaving the hotel at 7.00am by Underground to Tokyo Main and then on by the efficient Narita Express train to the airport (covered by my JR Railcard). The airport is well out to the east of town and a 1¼ hour train ride. I arrived far too early and had time to kill before the 12.15 flight. Bought a bottle of saké as a souvenir.

The Aeroflot flight left and arrived on time. It was a 9½ hour flight to Moscow Sheremetyevo airport in a Boeing 777. I travelled 'economy' with, conveniently, a spare seat next to me and the service was good, with a plentiful supply of free wine. Pleasant cabin crew. I was quite impressed.
There was a 3 hour stop-over in Moscow and the facilities, restaurants etc. there were fine. Then on again with Aeroflot to London Heathrow, a 4 hour flight, to arrive at 10.00pm after 30 mins delay due to 'holding' over LHR for some unknown reason. Not Aeroflot's fault.

I always find it extraordinary that in Japan all the people who staff the immigration, security, cafés, shops, transport etc. etc. are smartly turned out and polite Japanese. In Vietnam they are Vietnamese. In India they are Indian. When you get to London you are pushed to find a Brit, or someone looking British, doing any of these jobs (there must be some!). Foreigners arriving at Heathrow could be forgiven for not knowing if they had arrived in Bengal, Beirut, Bulgaria or Burkina Faso let alone Britain. Also, Heathrow is such a higgledy-piggledy mess with a confusing maze of inter-connecting passageways and inter-terminal transport systems. It is, frankly, scruffy, confusing and out of date. And it was raining.



I arrived too late to get transport home so I had to find local overnight accommodation. Fortunately there was a desk in Terminal 4 which could organise this (manned by an Algerian) which he did quite efficiently and not too expensively. It involved getting a hotel bus (£6) from what seemed like a bit of waste ground and parking lot outside Terminal 3 and having to hang about here in the cold drizzly wet for about 25 minutes.

Left: The scruffy bus stop with a makeshift half-collapsed signboard.

A twenty minute drive to the Mercure Airport Hotel and dropped off on the main road opposite! I was a bit concerned on arrival to find that a large crowd of Indian or Pakistani guests were in the foyer trying to book in ahead of me. I had visions of waiting in a queue for half the rest of the night. Fortunately their leader or tour guide did it quite quickly for all of them. I was checked in by a charming Greek guy at the desk. In fact it turned out to be a very decent hotel, and the bar was still open, with a comfortable room. I woke up the next morning to realise that the England v New Zealand Rugby match was on at 9.00am so managed to watch that in some comfort in my room. Then a walk to the nearby Hayes & Harlington railway station for a train via Reading and back home by 3.00pm. 

Impressions of Japan

On the plus side;

1. Ultra-efficient transport systems with excellent information facilities. Actually, everything for tourists was efficient and well organised.

2. Superior automation.

3. Polite, to the point of obsequiousness. Lots of bowing and smiling (and white gloves).

4. Short, sensible and helful announcements in English on trains and Underground.

5. Good value if you use a Japanese Railcard (if you travel a lot by rail).

6. Clean and tidy with no sign of any yobbish or anti-social behaviour.

7. Excellent and relatively cheap hotels available at short notice. (esp. the APA ones).

8. Lots of 7/11, Family Mart, Lawsons shops for supplies.

9. Lack of fat 'kangerillapigs' wobbling about (as per UK). They mostly looked slim and trim and smartly dressed. Diet? Tradition?

10. Fast free WiFi everywhere including trains, railway stations, bars and hotels.

11. Oirish or British Pubs (or equivalent) in every major town if you want home comforts.

On the minus side:

1. Somewhat 'robotic' in their outlook and behaviour. They always stick to the rules regardless of common sense.

2. Japanese food is something I never got the hang of. Strange menus, often in Japanese, and I don't like sushi or raw fishy things! Beef? exorbitant Kobe stuff breaks the bank.

3. Language is a problem outside major cities or tourist sites.

4. I was told that as a tourist things are fantastic, but it is somewhat less convivial if you work there. Their work ethic and hierarchical system is harsh to the point of stressful. Not my problem!

So, for a tourist, it is a fascinating and most enjoyable place to visit. Recommended.

TOKYO

23rd - 25th Oct 2019

Tokyo Underground map.

Train from Hiroshima to Tokyo via a change in Osaka. I arrived at Tokyo Main (centre-east of the city) at 7.10pm and booked into the APA Kodemmacho Ekimae hotel, which was rather more expensive than the other APA hotels I had used, probably just because it is in Tokyo and approaching the weekend of the World Cup Rugby final. It is near the Kodemmacho underground station not far to the north of the railway station. I used the underground system (above) with one change at Ginza to get there, and it is not as complicated as it looks...just follow the well signposted coloured lines. Not much time to do anything that evening apart from investigating one of the little bars in the area. Some are very small and if all the seats are taken they won't let you in!

I only had one full day in the vast metropolis of Tokyo so decided to visit the Imperial Palace. This is walking distance just to the west of the Main railway station (frontage left).

Well, what a performance that was! I was told I had to be there 30 minutes before the escorted (no solo wandering allowed) tour started at 12.30pm. There is a limit of 300 for each tour. 300! I got there at 11.45 and there was a long queue forming (no seats) along the edge of the square outside (right). At 12.30 an official came down the line and handed us registration forms to fill in and to check our passports. At 1.00pm  we filed past a desk where our passports were checked again (fortunately I had brought mine with me). 

......and then led across a bridge into a large reception room with desks and chairs (left). We sat and waited, and waited. There is a souvenir shop selling all kinds of expensive tat.  Eventually a series of 'hosts' gave briefings in Japanese, Spanish and English...some of which was intelligible.

The tour was to last about 1¼ hours.

At long last we (the English speaking group) were led outside and introduced to our charming lady guide (right). She spoke English, I think, but very quickly and with such a heavy accent that, frankly, she might as well have been speaking Martian.

We were shown the fortified (ex-Imperial) guardhouse at the entrance. This was designed to confuse attackers by looking the same all the way around (I think is what she said). Can't quite see how that worked as it was at the corner of the tall walls, but hey ho. She also pointed out some inscriptions in the wall which were imposible to see.

We were then shown an 'administrative' building (right), the significance of which rather escaped me.

Then on to stand outside what I took to be a large maintanence shed (left) next to an open concrete area. It was here, we were told, that three days ago they had carried out the 'Coronation parade' of the new Emperor (Naruhito) when 600 (I think) foreign dignitaries had been present.

......but no, this building is the Palace! I think it must rate as being the most singularly unimpressive Palace in the world, by 1000 Japanese miles! We were not alowed inside it, or any other building for that matter.

Right: The 'statue' of a pine cone in the corner of the square. The pine cone signifies 'strong character' in Japan.

Left: A 'nijo' bird statuette on the roof. Nijo birds are also significant for some reason but I was rather losing interest by this stage.

Right: The 'Spectacles Bridge' over the moat. So called because, when (or if) the sun is shining from the correct angle, it looks like a pair of spectacles with the reflections in the water. It is considered one of the three most significant bridges in Japan. Doesn't say much for the rest!

Left: The roof of one of the guardhouses which has birdy, or maybe dragon, statues at each end. Forgotten what they are called, but are common on lots of Japanese buildings and have some significance or other. As far as I could see it was just another popular resting place for pigeons.

Right: Another, final, view of the 'Palace'. I wondered who designed this? I note that there is a website called 'shoddyhomes.com' and suspect they might have had a hand in it.

We bid a fond farewell to our guide with a bit of bowing and finished the tour at 2.45pm. To be honest, it was not terribly impressive. At least it was free! Perhaps I could have used the 3 hours more productively.

There are some impressive gardens surrounding the Palace but not enough time for me to see them.

Then on by the Japanese Rail (JR) Internal Circle line, separate to the Underground but free to those with JR Railcards, to the Shibuya district in the west of the city. This is a busy and trendy area of Town and has a famous landmark; the 'Shibuya Crossing' also known as the 'Pedestrian Scramble'. The Shibuya Underground/Rail station is a complete maze of passageways and levels but, with the help of a local, I managed to find my way out in the right direction. Left:: The crossings with traffic halted.




Right: The pedestrian crossings. A poor photo taken from an upstairs window of a Starbucks café opposite. Better ones on the Internet I'm sure.

As per all Japanese road crossings the pedestrians are remarkably disciplined. The traffic stops and then thousands (I'm told thousands) of people cross in orderly fashion, almost in ranks, from 10 directions over 5 crossings.

I had intended to go to visit the famous Senso-ji temple, Tokyo's most visited  Buddhist shrine (with a golden image of Kannon...see Kyoto) which was quite nearby but time was pressing and I would have got lost having to use the Shibuya station again and I'm not that fanatical about visiting temples anyway. So I took the easy way out and found a JR Circle line to the Shinjuku/Kabukicho district (north of Shibuya). This is the really trendy part of town with bright lights and clubs, pubs and restaurants (left).

I was tempted to go into the 'Robot Restaurant' here (right) which advertised a show and robot served dinner. It looked fun, but the price was extortionate (¥7000) so I resisted. Instead I wandered around looking for an interesting restaurant (it was now 7.00pm) and after consulting my trusty guide book got lost again.

Left: A weird looking hotel with a 'Godzilla' theme which seems popular around here. I am told Godzilla was a protector of Japan but haven't a clue why.

So I ended up in another Oirish (British) Bear...and had a delicious meal of roast beef, mashed potatoes and veg plus a pint of Kilkenny beer. I'm afraid I never got the hang, or taste, of Japanese cuisine. I don't like sushi things, raw fish or boiled white unknown vegetables. Call me unadventurous, but I know what I like. Sorry Bernie, no Pie 'n Mash which would have been quite acceptable, but it doesn't seem to have caught on here yet.

Left: Inside the British Pub in Kabukicho district. Replay rugby on the TV.

Back to Kodemmacho and a late call in at a local little bar, the Eclipse. This proved amusing because there was a very sociable barman and a couple of Japanese businessmen in who spoke some English. One of the businessmen had worked in Edinburgh at some stage. We exchanged interesting experiences and I was generously presented with a bottle of saké plus a traditional wooden saké drinking vessel as a gift. Very kind of them. They are, on the whole, a very polite and decent people. I was impressed.

Not half enough time to see many of the myriad sights in Tokyo, but at least I got a feeling for the place. It is a vast city of 23 million people and innumerable places to visit.  Definitely worth another visit.

That was my very limited experience of the city. Got to catch the 'plane back to UK tomorrow.