MIAMI - FLORIDA

Feb 28th - Mar 1st 2011

...Onwards and downwards. I discovered that the cost of an Amtrak ticket from Charleston to Miami was only $74 ( they vary by the minute ) so decided, on a whim, to go for a look-see. Although the train journey of 14 hrs cost a mere $74, the 20 minute taxi rides to/from hotels at either end totalled $60! Long distance travel in US is fine, local travel is more difficult and expensive. I suspect that a lot of taxi drivers want to keep it just that way. Actually most US citizens prefer to drive, or fly, wherever. Local public transport is therefore poor, and walking anywhere is quite out of the question.

So, off on another 'wriggley tin' ride; shake, rattle and roll for 14 hours. I remembered to take my own ( substantial, clink clink ) rations and at least I had a window to look out of this time. I sat next to a gentleman, getting off at Orlando, who slept for most of his journey. God knows how.

The scenery was relatively dull; flat, mainly straggly forest with occasional swamp, farmland and the odd lake. But definitely flat...which is more than can be said of the rail-track. Maybe that is why the tin carriages have become wriggley? We stopped ( and I have probably missed a few ) at Savannah, Jesup, Jacksonville, Orlando, Kissimmee, Winter Haven, West Palm Beach, Fort Lauderdale and finally Miami.

Announcements. One of my pet hates concerning most Brit transport systems is the intrusive, bossy, interminable, mostly unnecessary and often unintelligible 'announcements' which serve only to irritate and disrupt one's journey. I suppose it is the 'Karaoke' syndrome. Give some minion a microphone and he will sing into it loudly and non-stop, possibly because it makes him feel important. Pointless and unlistened to 'announcements' about what is on sale in the buffet ( food and drink unsurprisingly ) and all the pathetic 'compulsory, for your own security 'elf 'n' safety' crap adds to the relentless cacophony. The few announcements that are made on Amtrak are done in a concise understandable and often amusing fashion normally by a 'conductor' on the platform or walking through the carriage ( no microphone ). Carriages are assigned to destinations which makes life easier so the conductor will even wake you up, if necessary, before your stop. Things like "Next stop in 10 minutes, Kissimmee, 10 minutes to Kissimmee, Yee Hah!" or, significantly, "Orlando in 10 minutes, smoke break here folks for 15 minutes but don't go too far away from the train, we don't want to lose you". I somehow can't imagine British railways advertising smoke breaks. They are great social occasions on Amtrak!

Sorry, phew, I digress. My neighbour, Mr Negie McKenzie, woke up 20 minutes before Orlando. He was most charming. It turned out that he was a builder/decorator working in New York, originally from the Bahamas and on the way to visit his daughter in Orlando. He enjoyed watching cricket. He told me all about Nassau and gave me his card in case I ever needed any help there, and a tin of Coca-Cola.

We arrived intact in Miami at about 1930hrs then 25 minutes by taxi to the hotel which, I discovered, was in the 'hospital' area.

I think most of the guests were recovering from, or about to endure, some treatment or other. I told the receptionist that I was fine. She said "well that makes a nice change then" in, would you believe, a Geordie accent! Good heavens. Hadaway man! Hor name worr Scarlett and shu worr a bonny lass frerm Sunderland, working in Miami for a year. She said the weather was better here and, as I have found in most places down the east coast, they sell Newcastle Brown Ale.

The next day, into Miami for a reconnaissance. There is a city Metro system similar to the Docklands Light Railway in London which doesn't, of course, extend to the airport or Amtrak station. The taxi drivers ( many Haitian ) would strongly disapprove of that.

Right: a bit of the Miami City Metro. $1.75 for a single journey of any length. Cheap.

The city is a sprawling place. Loads of smart shops, restaurants and 'entertainment' as you would expect and with hundreds of banks. This is 'bank' city USA. Mind you, I noticed some incredibly grotty and run-down housing just outside of 'downtown'. I hadn't realised previously that the language spoken, and culture, in Miami is predominantly Spanish. It was founded by the Spanish ( hence Florida ) but more recently this is due to a large influx of Cubans and other Hispanics. There are also, as you are doubtless aware, extensive and rather naff ( in my opinion ) beach areas ( Miami Vice etc., not that I have watched it ). It was hot and sunny but I was not really tempted to try out the beaches for various reasons. Firstly, I had very kindly been invited to stay in Fort Lauderdale that evening and did not have too much time to spare. Secondly, I had been ( reliably? ) informed that the beaches were infested by prowling packs of woofters. Thirdly, I am not terribly keen on sand and sea. The sand gets inside your shoes and socks and, if you throw caution to the wind, roll up your trouser  legs and paddle in the sea there is a serious danger that some marauding shark will have your legs off at the knee.

A bit like Blackpool, but with hot sun and added dangers.

Ok, I didn't have too much time to suss out Miami properly, but 'onwards onwards'..... next stop, briefly, Fort Lauderdale. Standby for more................rubbish.