THE HIGH LIFE - BANGKOK

28th Dec 2021 - 2nd Jan 2022

'Happy New Year' from my 'new best friends' at Buddy's Bar

Returning to Bangkok I decided to visit a couple of rather more 'upmarket' venues that I am accustomed to.

Left: The State Tower Building at the western end of Silom Road towards the river. It is, primarily, a very expensive hotel.

I dread to think how much a room, or suite, costs.

Right: This car was parked at the front entrance. It is a Lamborghini and gives you some idea of the 'status' of the guests.

I had been told there was a 'Sky Bar' up near the golden dome, so I decided to investigate.

I took the very speedy 'rocket' lift to the 64th floor where, I was advised, this bar existed. Indeed it did (left) jutting out over the edge 850ft above ground.

Right: The Sky Bar. 

Left: Enjoying a dry martini. There were no chairs or bar stools, which I thought was a bit inconvenient.

Right: The drinks menu (click on to enlarge). The sky-high prices of the drinks more than matched the altitude! The cheapest drink came in at around 1000 Baht (£24). I expect it was to stop people getting pissed and falling overboard. Anyway, having invested in one drink I didn't stay long.

Left: A photographer up there was doing a 'photo shoot' of some rather tarty ladies. I watched with interest. I say 'ladies' but not sure about this one. 'She' spoke with a very masculine voice and walked like a gamekeeper in high heels. As you are aware, Thailand is famous for its 'ladyboys'. Perhaps this is a model for 'Trans Weekly'?

Right: This pic was not taken at the Sky Bar. An interesting 'double-take' if you look closely. Man, woman or monster?

On to the Mandarin Oriental Hotel on the east bank of the Chao Phraya river. Again a frighteningly upmarket and pricey hang-out for the rich and famous which this place has attracted over a long history. It was first established in the mid-19th century when the country was known as Siam

Left: Impressive traditionally dressed 'guards' (apart from the face-masks) at the front door. Lots of bowing and scraping as you go in.

Right: Their magnificent Christmas tree in the foyer.

I treated myself to a vastly overpriced glass of wine on the terrace. As you can see, not too many others present....although there were several groups in the indoor bars and restaurant. And a couple in each of the swimming pools.

Right: The wine came with quite a few 'extras' which were served with obsequious diligence and much bowing. Perhaps they thought, as I was alone, that I might be someone important, travelling incognito. I tried not to disillusion them.

Left: In the 'Garden Suite' and adjoining 'Authors' Lounge' there are some lavishly decorated rooms where tea is served. I merely passed through. There are also some reading rooms and what looked like old-fashioned studys with magnificent writing desks which were preserved as the working space of famous writers. This place was a favoured haunt of some well known (wealthy) authors. Maybe it still is?  Some rooms are named after them. When I write my blockbuster 'world renowned' novels maybe they will remember me too, but I think I have left it a bit too late for that. I doubt 'The Adventures of Travellin' Uncle Matt' will qualify for anything other than a loud 'raspberry'!

The rooms were festooned with photo portraits of famous authors, playwrights and  film producers who have enjoyed, indeed waxed lyrical about, the facilities here. They probably got a reduced bill for doing so. It is an impressive collection of the 'arty-farty' Brigade. I now show below a series of some of these photos (there were many more!). I wonder how many of them you recognise?:

So much for the 'High Life'. Much as it might be admired and sought after, one cannot forget that in this part of the world much of the population has to scrape a living as best they can. I neither envy nor pity them. There is little 'welfare' funding in these countries and one is expected to find some form of income however you can, however basic. The need to work for a living is taken for granted. It is extraordinary, compared to our soft Western expectations that the 'State will provide everything, is not replicated here and people don't whinge about it. They have ambitions but no sense of entitlement. They do not begrudge the wealthy and successful. They are self-supporting with strong family ties (excuse the pun). They regard their fortunes, or misfortunes, as entirely their responsibility. They smile, get on with life and are no less happy for it.

Right: The other end of the scale. A young lad on the street making things to sell by weaving palm leaves. Our lot of unemployed wasters in UK just beg, steal or expect welfare payouts. Or all of the above.

Tally Ho!

P.S. I have just met a charming Scotsman (yes, they do exist!) from Glasgow in a local bar here. He told me a story, which is not uncommon he said, especially where he comes from, about an old schoolfriend of his. This friend has never been 'officially' employed, and has made no effort to be because he can live in free housing, with subsidised facilities and claim dole money of about £80 per week. Not much huh? Except that he peddles drugs; a thriving business with no lack of customers, especially in Scotland. From this illegal trade (cocaine mainly) he pockets, on average, £2,000 (tax free) per month, or maybe it was per week, I forget! Sometimes a lot more. There is something rather sickening about this I feel. So much for the deserving poor unemployed!

ART IN PARADISE- PATTAYA

 26th -27th Dec 2021

L'Artiste Superbe

I have been here, 'Art in Paradise', before (in 2019) but it was worth another visit. It is clever. You need to download an 'app' on your phone at the entrance which, when pointed at several of the 'pictures', brings them to life. The idea is that you should feature in the ensuing 'picture' or 'film clip'. There are two slight problems here a) it requires a bit of fiddling with displays and expertise on your phone and b) you need a competent partner to operate it if you want to be in it. I am not brilliant with these phones and I didn't have a partner.

As with many venues in town this place was almost totally devoid of visitors while I was there. I think there were about three or four others present, and it is a large two storey (is that OK Bernie?) exhibition/display. Fortunately I managed to cajole a helpful Thai girl and a young lad to assist at a few of the viewing points, but not all. I think they began to avoid me eventually. Anyway, they were very patient and kind but not experts and the results could, I am sure, have been more impressive.

For what it's worth I attach below some of the static pics and the film clips. There were many more but my lack of 'assistant' was a bit of a disadvantage. For one reason or another the film clips are sideways on and, for the life of me, I couldn't get them the right way up! You will have to turn your head, or computer, through 90 degrees. 

For 'full screen (enlarged) view of vids 'open', then click on box at bottom right. Click on box bottom right to return to page. I hope they work.....

Right: Crossing the gorge with dodgy plank.

Left: An Italian, I think, backdrop.

Right: Decapitated in the kitchen

An encounter with The Beast

Landing a Big One

Elephant and Monkey

Giraffe at the Waterhole

Camel at the Oasis. You are meant to hold the camel's lead as it sticks its tongue out but I couldn't find anyone to help film it.

Dali Making Eyes

Gondola in Venice (cut short by 'assistant')

Frog in the Rain. You are supposed to sit under his lily pad, but no help to do that.

That should give you some idea. They are transferred from YouTube which gives a better view, if you can find them. There was much much more. I noticed several buckets and plastic bins scattered around parts of the floors in some areas. Drips were coming from ceilings. They must have sprung a leak in the roof, or a water tank had over-filled. I hope no lasting damage.

So back to Bangkok the next day. Again, a cheap and efficient bus ride this time. It is extraordinary how people from this part of the world go to great lengths to avoid sunlight. As soon as we set off all the curtains were drawn. I like to see the scenery, but not so my fellow passengers. I noticed this especially in Vietnam where, mostly the women, wear long sleeves and wide brimmed hats (and masks) to keep the sun off their skin. To become 'tanned' or have darker skin is a no-no and regarded as demeaningly 'peasant-like'. I had a Vietnamese colleague, a very decent and competent chap, who had a darker skin and was referred to by his Vietnamese friends, not maliciously I hasten to add, as 'The Black Boy'. You would get arrested for saying that in UK!  Chemist shops there, and here, sell a vast and popular range of skin-whitening substances which probably do the users no good, but that is the fashion. Extraordinary to think what lengths Westerners go to show off a healthy tan to boast to their friends of how they can afford expensive 'sun-baked' holidays. C'est la vie.

I have cracked one of the problems viewing the vids! Click on arrow to open, and there is then a box at bottom right. Click on that to view 'full screen'. When finished there is a similar box bottom right to return. I expect some of you got there before me!

Still sideways on, but can't alter that. As far as I am aware. 

PATTAYA AND JOMTIEN REVISITED

 22nd - 25th Dec 2021

Christmas Day evening on the beach south of Jomtien

Onwards by minibus from Bangkok (Ekkamai) south-east to Pattaya. It is a cheap (£3) regular and efficient service, a 2.5 hour journey and reasonably comfortable. The motorway to Pattaya is, like so many out of Bangkok, a raised three lane highway which flies over all the suburbs where normal local traffic goes on below.

Left: Not my pic, but it gives you an idea. Unlike the the M4, and similar UK motorways (described and demonised a few blogs back), I have never experienced any serious roadworks, closed lanes or traffic jams on this route. How does a supposedly 3rd World country manage to engineer such an efficient, free-flowing road (with tolls to help pay for it) and we, in UK, have to put up with an obstacle course of eternal roadworks, blockages and arbitrary speed limits?

As with so many places in Bangkok, the once throbbing (and decidedly risqué) scene in Pattaya has been much curtailed by lack of tourists and previous Government restrictions. Right: So many shops, restaurants and bars have been closed. By no means all of course, but the sea front is practically deserted. Sad.

Left: The Shamrock Bar is one place that I remember fondly and has managed to remain open, albeit with shortened hours. The owner, an affable Irishman called Terry, says it has been a struggle to keep going and has cost him dearly to do so. Similar to Buddy's in Bangkok it is a hangout for expats and, like Buddy's, tends to be a staunchly, and rare, 'mask-free' oasis.

The menu at The Shamrock offers some good old-fashioned British fare such as 'bangers and mash', 'shepherds' pie', 'steak and chips' as well as the 'Full Engish Breakfast' etc. It also provides something called 'Thairish Stew'. I tried this and it was delicious. So good that I asked Terry to give me the recipe, which he did (right). Click on to enlarge and read. He mentioned that he missed out the vital addition of a sprinkle of thyme and oregamo. Strongly recommended and, even though I am no cook, will try to reproduce it when I get home.

There is a myriad of hotels in and around Pattaya and Jomtien. I stayed in two. They are struggling for custom and offering very cheap rates. Quite a bargain. The second one I stayed in, chosen by wandering past, called 'Mikes Hotel', was very clean and comfortable with good facilities, breakfast included. I only ever spotted one other guest (couple).

Left: Say no more! "Mfff mff!".

Much of my time was just spent wandering around and enjoying a relaxed time at various restaurants and bars, reading some books (on Kindle) and generally being completely idle. The lack of British newsapapers and TV (OK, I have internet, which is excellent out here, and which keeps me vaguely up to date) became a positive bonus as I was not subjected to daily wall-to-wall covid stats and panic. Why are we doing this to ourselves? Sadly the Thais, at the moment, are taking these panic measures to heart viv-a-vis tourists. Having said that there are no apparent social restrictions here and once in a bar/restaurant etc. life is normal.

Right: The back of a shopping complex on 2nd Street (parallel to to the sea-front Beach Street). An interestingly positioned Douglas DC3 aircraft.

Left: The front end. This was part of the 'Ripley's Believe It or Not' exhibition. Seen before, but worth another visit. This display is amusing and caters for children and people like me. I like the touch of the parachutist hanging from the tree (and there was a strange 'real' story attached to that about him being stranded for several days before being rescued) and you can actually climb into the (original) cockpit.

Right: Something on the wall at the entrance. Click on to enlarge. Give it a try.  Maybe I'm being naive, but it seems, mysteriously, to work. It must be obvious and simple but it baffled me. I'm easily baffled. I expect my monitors and supervisors at OMPITA will enlighten me as to how it works

Left: Amongst many weird exhibits was this vast collection of beer cans. I only captured one of three walls. OK, it maybe a spoof, but the sheer number of differing cans on display was impressive. It must have taken a lot of effort to assemble it.

Right: A wooden sculpture of a sports car. Forgot to note what kind. I'm sure someone will enlighten me. 

 

Left: My 'new best friend'. Not a very talkative one.

There are many more interesting 'exhibits' here and suggest you come to see. If nothing else they provide an exhibition which, as far as I am aware, is not replicated in UK. But that is before I have another 'dekko' at the 'Art in Paradise' museum. This is at the north end of Pattaya and I will resume there later.

In the meanwhile, I met up with some English friends who work out here (Rugby School Thailand if you are interested) for Christmas Lunch at a beach souh of Jomtien. We were due to meet up at 2.30pm, at a restaurant called The Glass House. It is a 10 km taxi ride from Pattaya. The Glass House is a large and quite upmarket venue. I arrived early and sat at the bar. I was then told that, here, they were forbidden, by law, to serve alcohol between 2.00pm and 5.00pm. "WTF!" I said to myself. Eventually my hosts found me and told me that they had gone next door to another nice restaurant, 'Bocco Beach'. There was no problem with serving wine there! We had a very delicious and amusing 'Chrexit' Lunch with much jollity and no shortage of alcohol. 

Left: a Jolly Christmas Lunch at Bocco Beach. 

It is quite extraordinary that the Thai Government seems to apply such weird and seemingly arbitrary rules. 'No alcohol sales' are supposedly applied between 2.00pm - 5.00pm in (some) restaurants, and after 9.00pm in shops. Except where they aren't. I was told the reason is, by a bar owner serving drinks all day, that the Government wants to prohibit schoolchildren buying alcohol on their way back from school. Heavens! What crap! In Thailand every adult has to carry an ID card. If they are worried about underage children buying hooch they only have to check their ID cards, if they have one. I suspect there is graft and backhanders to various police involved here. No doubt!

More to follow from the land of the ludicrous!] 

BACK IN BANGKOK

14th - 20th Dec 2021

The latest (muffled) news on Thai TV

I must be getting old and unadventurous as I find myself going back to familiar places and not exploring new ones. Thus many of the places photographed here were probably shown on previous Thailand blogs. I suppose the main difference this time around is that Bangkok is suffering a lack of tourists so things are not so 'vibrant'. Following a total lockdown earlier ths year, including a total ban on alcohol (and we think we had it bad in UK!) many shops, hotels, bars and restaurants went bust or just closed down. As tourists were 'cautiously' allowed back, me included, things began to pick up a bit until "BANG!", they made it more difficult again. A real 'shot in the foot'. Well done Thailand.

Left: Phat Phong Street three years ago. The epicentre of Bangkok debauchery, its Night Market was always packed with punters looking for a bargain fake watch or a lively, stimulating and 'original' cultural show. Helpful and accommodating 'hostesses' were in abundance and the bars were humming.

Right: Phat Phong now. Oh dear! What a difference a bug makes. I was hoping, to stay at a hotel on Silom Road called The Narai as I have done on previous visits as it was a) very comfortable with a great bar providing musical entertainment plus an excellent restaurant b) central for travel and c) real value for money at about £30 pn. It is another casualty of 'Covid' and has closed. Bah!

Of course the main thing you notice here now is that everyone is face-masked everywhere. I believe it is the law and you can be fined if caught with a naked face (unless sitting down eating or drinking where, as we have agreed, this virus does not operate). Tourists follow suit, although asking around I have not heard of anyone who has been fined and I have certainly never attracted any comment when I 'accidently' forget to wear mine over my mouth and nose....just around my throat in case of ambush by the 'mask police'.

The Thais put up with this unquestioningly. Much more so even than the TIMs in UK. They are fervent 'maskies'. As with the Vietnamese, they are an exceedingly charming, polite and helpful people. However they are brought up to respect and obey authority, or their bosses, and comply regardless of whether what they are told to do is right or wrong or even counter-productive. They do not seem ever to ask themselves, or others, the question 'why'? They are very bright people and quick to learn, but robotically educated and trained 'by rote'. Things to them are rather 'black and white' (if it's not a criminal offence to use that expression nowadays!). Hence, as well as being compliant and submissive, lateral and original thinking are not their strong points. For example, they would  never understand the concept of the party game 'Charades', but it is why Ho Chi Minh & Co. managed to get supplies down the trail from North to South Vietnam during the war. If a North Vietnamese officer commanded "Nguyen Thi Bonk Ho, you take this 100kg artillery shell 500 miles down to Viet Cong comrades in South, now go!". "Yes comrade I go quick quick" would have been the reply. Can you imagine what a British squaddie would have said? Somehing along the lines of "you must be f*****g taking the piss, Sir!" (or an American GI would merely have blown his officer up). Another example, was given to me by a lady who taught English to Vietnamese in Saigon. The students, aged in their 20s, were very diligent and quick to learn. At the end of the course the teacher asked them "what is your opinion of the course?". She was greeted with blank stares. When pressed to answer the reply was "but you have not taught us that". Opinions? A dangerous question.

After a while it becomes rather dispiriting, indeed depressing, to be in a country where nobody dares to show their face. One of the joys and uplifting sights in Thailand used to be the many pretty girls you saw on the streets. Now you are confronted by a faceless society of zombies. On the other hand that girl may have a lovely figure but, who knows, she might be concealing the fizzog of a gargoyle! Masking the whole population is no small matter. It is not just a minor uncomfortable inconvenience. It is social death. I worry that it will never end. Anyway, enough of my philosophising.

I went to the Esplanade Mall (left), a vast emporium in the north of the city to see the Bangkok version of the virtual reality museum 'Art in Paradise'. I visited the Pattaya version a few years ago and was impressed. This Mall has six levels, is immaculate inside and has shops which sell just about anything you can think of. The 'Art in Paradise' was on the 4th floor (I read). I got there. It was closed! I was told it had been closed for over 6 months (Covid 19 of course) and no sign of reopening. Various internet sites are still advertising it. Bah again! 

Right: In many of these establishments there are 'covid detecting stations' positioned at the entrances. Some are manned, most  not. They are multi-function temperature taking, UR code tracking, hand-sanitiser dispensing facilities, plus 'warning' notices. You rarely see anybody using them, and if manned the most you are asked to do is put your hand over the electric thermometer thingy. Again, more for virtuous display than useful purpose.

Travelling around the city using the Mass Rail Transport (MRT) or Skytrain (BTS), the overhead equivalents of London's Underground, is a joy. The stations and trains are immaculately clean, electronic signage always shows where you are going both in the trains and on platforms, the ticketing system is efficient and simple and, above all, cheap

Left: You rarely see any passenger who is not head down on their smart-phone.

Being Christmas time, carols were being played at the station platforms. Actually it was either 'Yingo Bells' or, over and over again, 'The Twelve Days of Keesmah' sung rather delightfully by a female Thai warbler. It was delightful for the first few times but began to pall a bit after the umpteenth rendition. 

I revisited the famous Chatuchak Weekend Market. This vast market, possibly the biggest in the world, covers 37 acres and has in excess of 15,000 'shops' divided into sectors. A map (right) is necessary to give you half a chance of finding something you want.

Left: Darth Vader was standing outside the MRT station when I arrived. I never did find out what he was selling, or advertising, but he enjoyed having his photo taken and gave me a cheery wave with his lightsabre. He was still there when I returned 2 hours later.

As rather expected, the market was relatively quiet. Not the heaving mass of tourists, and locals, that I remember. Indeed most of the shops inside the covered areas were closed. There used to be several 'performers' doing odd musical and other things, but they were mostly 'absent without leave'.

Left: This was a shop in the market that I hadn't seen before. It was, as you can see, selling cannabis things to eat. I have no idea what they are like and I certainly wasn't willing to try! I am told that the present Thai Goverment is very 'Methodist' on things like alcohol (and more about that later) and try every which way to make the purchase of it difficult....but they must be rather more relaxed on 'soft' drugs.

Right: Not so many muslims on display here, but at least they are well catered for. Except that when I went to find out what Islamic delicacies were on offer I found it was closed. 

Left: One of my regular haunts on Silom Road. Another 'Oirish Bear' called O'Malleys. No muslims there as far as I could gather, but a pleasant pub nevertheless.

Right: Another stalwart watering hole on Silom Road; Buddy's Bar. Managed by a 'Brit' it attracts many 'ex-pats' and does great nosh, especially delicious are the Swedish meatballs with a spicy gravy, redcurrent sauce and mash. Yum yum. 

Left: Inside Buddy's. Taken when I was there alone. Believe me, it does get quite busy at times and they have a pool table up the stairs at the back. Plus the ubiquitous Premier League football on TV. I may have mentioned this before but there are three things, and only three things, that the rest of the world knows, or takes an interest in, regarding the UK. First and foremost Premier League football, secondly the Royal Family and third, Mr Bean!

Right: A bevy of bemasked beauties offering massage. Every other shop in some streets seems to be a massage parlour. I rarely see any customers visiting.

Stopping here for a breather, and I am well behind writing this drivel, I attach a column from the Daily Telegraph which rather supports my views on face-masks in planes.

ANNABEL FENWICK ELLIOTT

Daily Telegraph. 22nd December 2021

 

22 December 2021 • 2:02pm

Masks on planes forever?

What a ludicrous travesty that

would be

Face masks could become a permanent feature of air travel, despite data showing that they're next to useless in a plane cabin.

I was encouraged to see on Twitter this morning reports from a CNN travel journalist that several of the “cavalier” flight attendants on her BA flight were not wearing masks. “I'm so angry,” Julia Buckley huffed. “I even booked a seat in biz to feel safer, and the danger was in the galley right in front of me.” Looks to me like progress. It has been my fear that muzzle mandates would become another of one of those daft protocols forever absorbed into the permanent aviation safety doctrine, in the same way that, thanks to 9/11, we will never again be able to board a plane with a normal-sized tube of toothpaste in our hand luggage. It’s certainly what White House medical advisor Anthony Fauci suggested over the weekend when asked by ABC whether we’d eventually get to a point where we won’t have to wear masks on planes. “I don’t think so,” he stated.

Of course, there was outrage in response to Buckley’s tweet thread, in which she posted a photo of a maskless cabin crew member standing alone sipping a drink by the coffee machine, and further complained: “Can’t wait for my executive club gift of omicron to take home to the family for Christmas.”

“Crikey. That’s really shocking,” read the first reply. “You would think the cabin crew would be worried about their own safety, if nothing else.” The rest followed a similar theme.
Readers, it’s time for a few fast facts. First, it goes without saying that if Buckley – believing, as presumably she does, that the cloth barrier between her face and the surrounding air really is critical in keeping her safe from Covid – dared, at any point during the flight, to lower her mask in order to eat or drink herself, along with the vast majority of her fellow passengers, then she’s lost the argument, and all logic has left the cabin. Masks either work or they don’t; the virus doesn’t take a break at mealtimes.

I'm on a BA flight where neither the cabin crew nor the pilot are wearing masks as we sit here waiting to take off. Unsurprisingly some of the passengers are following their lead. Can't wait for

my executive club gift of omicron to take home to the family for Christmas

Secondly, it might seem counterintuitive but even if no-one wore masks on flights at all, airline cabins would still provide about the safest environment you can be confined to when it comes to Covid transmission – far, far better than that of a bar, coffee shop or restaurant, where guests are seldom forced to wear them.

Fauci himself conceded this on Sunday. “Even though you have a good filtration system [on planes], I still believe that masks are a prudent thing to do,” he said, offering no more justification, after Southwest Airlines CEO Gary Kelly stated: “I think the case is very strong that masks don’t add much, if anything, in the air cabin environment.”

In reality, thanks to their hospital-grade HEP (high-efficiency particulate) filters, the air inside a plane cabin is changed more than 25 times an hour; a system that removes 99.97 per cent of airborne viruses and bacteria, states the International Air Transport Association (IATA).

The data backs it up. According to the largest real-world study to date, conducted by Delta Air Lines, your chances of being exposed to Covid-19 on a flight whereby every passenger has tested negative (as per the policy on most routes) is less than 0.1 per cent. Separate findings from IATA, from early 2020 – crucially before the use of face masks on flights became common practice – identified just 44 cases of potential coronavirus infections among the 1.2 billion people who travelled by air in that period.

In short, for all the hysteria they attract, planes have never been a hot-bed for Covid transmission, and no scientist pretends otherwise. Rather, that accolade goes to hospitals – far and away your best setting in which to catch the virus – where

   

absolutely everyone is masked up at all times, and have been for the best part of two years.
But such precautions aren’t entirely useless when flying. Those little packages airlines hand out to passengers in their billions – the ones containing surgical masks, gloves and hand sanitisers – have at least been highly effective in reversing the industry’s long-running crusade against single-use plastic.

Indeed, if anyone should be getting their knickers in a twist over how, when and why masks should be used at 37,000 feet, it would rightly be the turtles, all those miles below, who shall be suffocating on them for many decades to come.

ONWARDS TO BANGKOK

 13th -14th Dec 2021

Thailand. The 'Land of Smiles'....?

Following on from my arrival at Gate 19, T2 LHR, to board the Austrian Airlines Flight  OS456 to Vienna and, hopefully, on to Bangkok, I was confronted by a little martinet as passengers were boarding. "You cannot board with that face-mask!". What?! Donner und Blitzen! (or whatever they say on Österreich). I had dutifully put my blue rag over my mouth and nose (normally around my chin when in face-mask territory). "Why not?" I asked. "You need to have an FFP2 mask", he commanded. I was left bewildered. "WTF is an FFP2 mask?" I politely enquired, "and why wasn't I told about this petty regulation on the Austrian Airlines website (which was expansive, if useless, and which I had actually wasted much time reading), or at least been warned at check-in? He merely suggested I might be able to buy one (you might have thought they could afford to issue them) at the W H Smith's shop, wherever that was. After getting this far I was, as you can imagine, quite irate. I was about to explode when a lady standing nearby (sensing an altercation) came to the rescue and said she had a spare one and gave it to me. Thanks so much to her (she was Polish as I discovered) and with much gratitude accepted the white rag to replace my blue one. So, I was generously allowed to board the Airbus to Vienna.

It took off on time and, during the course of the 1hr40min flight to Vienna we were served (or more accurately bought) some refreshments. I bought a coffee. We had been instructed/ordered to keep our face-masks on for the duration of the flight unless eating, drinking or taking medicine. Of course the FFP2  face-masks were then removed by many passengers nursing their drink, sandwich or bottle of pills, and continued to be so for the majority of the flight. 

This face-mask diktat is a complete farce.

During the course of the flight I expressed my concern to a hostie about the short turn-round time to catch the ongoing connection to Bangkok. She said that there were 25 people on this flight who had the same connection and it should be fine. We arrived 10 minutes early. Full marks to Austrian Airlines for that. As it happened, after (eventually) getting off the the aircraft, it was a check-free and short dash to the next boarding gate where there was a long queue to board Flight OS025 to Bangkok. We boarded a Boeing 777-200 ( a fairly rudimentary wide-body jet) and it was packed! Capacity about 315 seats and I saw few, if any, vacant (all full even in 1st Class, which I always make a point of strolling through at some point to envy their comfort). We in the plebs' seats were crammed in cheek by jowl. Most of the passengers seemed to be Westerners bound for a Thailand holiday. It was to be a 9 hour flight and, again, we were regaled with the face-masks "you must vear zem or be shot" order for the duration of the flight (9 hours!) unless eating, drinking or taking medicine routine. Well I, of course, and fortunately also the person jammed up against me in seat 38G, were keen to order a drink as soon as possible and keep drinking! That, combined with some rather inedible plastic flavoured supper and breakfast meals, avoided having to wear the blasted things for the duration. 

Arrival at Bangkok, Suvarnabhumi International, was spot on time (1515hrs Local on 14th Dec). Well done again Austrian Airlines. The following series of hurdles was to get through all the checks there. I can't remember the sequence but with various check points for temperature checks, vaccination certificates, Thailand Passes (and mine never got scanned, just looked at), immigration forms, passport control (and my visa was never asked for) it was not as time consuming as I thought it might be as they had plenty of staff on hand and were rushing people through. Thanks to the many documents we were all conscienciously carrying the system really could not cope with checking them all properly. In fact they have made it far too complicated and most documentation went unexamined. I never had to show my ASQ booking, for example, and probably could have easily just hopped onto the local transport system and booked into any hotel, anywhere in Thailand, unquestioned (following the first ASQ hotel no others have asked for any proof of PCR tests or vaccinations).

I then had to go to the baggage collection carousel to collect my totally unwanted, and useless, checked-in 'insurance' suitcase! It was there, sadly, and then off to Gate 10 to be met by a plethora of 'representatives' from various ASQ hotels. Most efficiently, I was identified by the Holiday Inn Express lady rep and directed to a mini-bus. I was the only occupant and hermetically sealed off from the driver - gosh they are worried by this bug. We sallied forth (4.30pm) for the 50 minute journey to some drive-through hospital facility in the city and very quickly PCR tested, simply by a 'nurse' opening the door of the mini-bus, poking a stick up my nose and throat and taking my passport details. We then proceded to the hotel. Checked in at 6.30pm (all staff fully masked up of course) and sent to a room on the 'quarantine' 2nd floor. It was a very comfortable room with room service for refreshments. No hardships there.

I came down to breakfast the next morning having been told that my PCR result was, fortunately, 'negative'. In fact they had received this result the previous evening...which is quicker than any rip-off service would aim to do in UK. I was then given another, equally decent, room on another floor and free to go.

That summarises my journey to Bangkok in these extraordinary times and, hopefully, exposes some of the illogical nonsense that we are now expected to put up with.

Left: I saw this notice at the hotel reception. It reminds me of guest houses in 1950s Britain.

Gosh! Isn't this now considered rather unforgiveably 'racist'? You could be arrested for putting it up in a British hotel. 

I have not yet been to Duria, but am making enquiries. I wonder what the Thais have got against them?

 



That concludes the tedious story of my journey. Next on to the latest from Bangkok.