THE TRAIN TO KANCHANABURI

2nd Jan 2022

The ferry up the river to Pier 10.

It is about 90 miles (130km) north-west from Bangkok to Kanchanaburi. I decided to go by train. I like trains. The only railway station in Bangkok which provides this rail service leaves from Thonburi, across the river to the to the north-west of the main city. There is no MRT or BTS service to get there and you need to go up the river by ferry from Central Pier to the nearest docking point at Pier 10.

The ferry journey is cheap (30 Baht = 70p) and takes about half an hour. Rather a pleasant little cruise and involved a few stop-offs at other piers.

Right: Up past the Oriental Hotel on the east bank. They have their own private pier, of course.

Left: A stop at the very elaborate Buddhist temple, Wat Arun, on the west bank.

Right: Past what I think what is the Grand Palace in the distance over on the east bank.

On arrival at Pier 10 I had worked out a general pedestrian route to the railway station. It is not close by. Extraordinary, I thought, that this railway station should be so well separated from any other main transport hub. I suppose I could have taken a taxi, but I am allergic to taxis in cities that I do not know. I have been stung before. If they know you are an ignorant foreigner there are several scams that they can pull a) take you miles out on a circuitous route to bump up the fare b) Charge by a meter which they have carefully fiddled c) Get lost because they are cowboys and haven't a clue where you want to go d) at worst, and I have heard of this happening (not to me), take you out to some desolate place where they are met by fellow hoods who rob you, or worse. Lastly, they never have change if you present them with a large denomination note. OK, maybe I'm unjustly maligning honest Bangkok taxi drivers, but I am still allergic. Anyway, I needed the excercise. I walked.

It was about a 20 minutes foot-slog and I was guided on my way, despite language difficulties, by some, as always, delightfully helpful Thai people; a security guard, a bloke at the entrance to a wat and a policeman. I arrived at the station in plenty of time for the train due to depart at 1.55pm. Thonburi used to be, centuries ago, the seat of the King before he moved his Palace to the east side. It is  a very different environment to the east bank Bangkok. It is very 'Thai', low-rise and has none of the western high-life fripperies. Apart from a few notable sites it is not a tourist area.

Left: Thonburi railway station is very basic. There are few facilities. To get to a different 'platform' or train you just walk across the tracks.

With time to spare I had a cup of coffee at a nearby simple 'tin table' cafe. It was at the edge of an enormous, 500yd long, covered fruit and veg market (right) which was curiously deserted (other than by fruit and veg). I gathered that it came to life in the evening.

This was to be a 2hr45min journey in fairly basic (3rd class, the only class) carriages (left). Having said that the seating was perfectly comfortable, the train uncrowded and the cost of the ticket was 100 Baht (£2.50). What a bargain! Vendors came on board at various stops to sell 'refreshments'. I had taken my own; some beer and a packet of peanuts. No alcohol is ever sold or permitted in any transport or transport 'hub' in this country. They must have heard about British football supporters.

2¾ hours seemed a long time to cover 90 miles, but I wasn't in a rush. In fact the train travelled at a max speed of about 40mph and sounded, with much graunching noise, as if the driver had left the brakes on. Also, within the first hour we seemed to have stopped briefly at a small station, often with a large Wat, every 5 minutes. There were many stops but all brief.  Probably just to let a monk off. (How do you let a monk off? Light blue touch paper and stand well clear of course). BTW, the rear carriage was reserved exclusively for monks. One stop was at a small village named Okkai Thenuu. It must have some Hibernian connection!

I was expecting the scenery to become hilly or even mountainous but until we got within a couple of miles of Kanchanaburi it was pancake flat and agricultural with palm trees, tall grasses, the occasional field of crops and a few 'bushy top' trees. Nothing very interesting. So, at a sedate pace, we arrived, graunching to a jerky halt, at Kanchanaburi at 4.45pm.

Right Kanchanaburi station. As with most Thai railway stations it was neat and tidy and decorated with flowers. 

THE HIGH LIFE - BANGKOK

28th Dec 2021 - 2nd Jan 2022

'Happy New Year' from my 'new best friends' at Buddy's Bar

Returning to Bangkok I decided to visit a couple of rather more 'upmarket' venues that I am accustomed to.

Left: The State Tower Building at the western end of Silom Road towards the river. It is, primarily, a very expensive hotel.

I dread to think how much a room, or suite, costs.

Right: This car was parked at the front entrance. It is a Lamborghini and gives you some idea of the 'status' of the guests.

I had been told there was a 'Sky Bar' up near the golden dome, so I decided to investigate.

I took the very speedy 'rocket' lift to the 64th floor where, I was advised, this bar existed. Indeed it did (left) jutting out over the edge 850ft above ground.

Right: The Sky Bar. 

Left: Enjoying a dry martini. There were no chairs or bar stools, which I thought was a bit inconvenient.

Right: The drinks menu (click on to enlarge). The sky-high prices of the drinks more than matched the altitude! The cheapest drink came in at around 1000 Baht (£24). I expect it was to stop people getting pissed and falling overboard. Anyway, having invested in one drink I didn't stay long.

Left: A photographer up there was doing a 'photo shoot' of some rather tarty ladies. I watched with interest. I say 'ladies' but not sure about this one. 'She' spoke with a very masculine voice and walked like a gamekeeper in high heels. As you are aware, Thailand is famous for its 'ladyboys'. Perhaps this is a model for 'Trans Weekly'?

Right: This pic was not taken at the Sky Bar. An interesting 'double-take' if you look closely. Man, woman or monster?

On to the Mandarin Oriental Hotel on the east bank of the Chao Phraya river. Again a frighteningly upmarket and pricey hang-out for the rich and famous which this place has attracted over a long history. It was first established in the mid-19th century when the country was known as Siam

Left: Impressive traditionally dressed 'guards' (apart from the face-masks) at the front door. Lots of bowing and scraping as you go in.

Right: Their magnificent Christmas tree in the foyer.

I treated myself to a vastly overpriced glass of wine on the terrace. As you can see, not too many others present....although there were several groups in the indoor bars and restaurant. And a couple in each of the swimming pools.

Right: The wine came with quite a few 'extras' which were served with obsequious diligence and much bowing. Perhaps they thought, as I was alone, that I might be someone important, travelling incognito. I tried not to disillusion them.

Left: In the 'Garden Suite' and adjoining 'Authors' Lounge' there are some lavishly decorated rooms where tea is served. I merely passed through. There are also some reading rooms and what looked like old-fashioned studys with magnificent writing desks which were preserved as the working space of famous writers. This place was a favoured haunt of some well known (wealthy) authors. Maybe it still is?  Some rooms are named after them. When I write my blockbuster 'world renowned' novels maybe they will remember me too, but I think I have left it a bit too late for that. I doubt 'The Adventures of Travellin' Uncle Matt' will qualify for anything other than a loud 'raspberry'!

The rooms were festooned with photo portraits of famous authors, playwrights and  film producers who have enjoyed, indeed waxed lyrical about, the facilities here. They probably got a reduced bill for doing so. It is an impressive collection of the 'arty-farty' Brigade. I now show below a series of some of these photos (there were many more!). I wonder how many of them you recognise?:

So much for the 'High Life'. Much as it might be admired and sought after, one cannot forget that in this part of the world much of the population has to scrape a living as best they can. I neither envy nor pity them. There is little 'welfare' funding in these countries and one is expected to find some form of income however you can, however basic. The need to work for a living is taken for granted. It is extraordinary, compared to our soft Western expectations that the 'State will provide everything, is not replicated here and people don't whinge about it. They have ambitions but no sense of entitlement. They do not begrudge the wealthy and successful. They are self-supporting with strong family ties (excuse the pun). They regard their fortunes, or misfortunes, as entirely their responsibility. They smile, get on with life and are no less happy for it.

Right: The other end of the scale. A young lad on the street making things to sell by weaving palm leaves. Our lot of unemployed wasters in UK just beg, steal or expect welfare payouts. Or all of the above.

Tally Ho!

P.S. I have just met a charming Scotsman (yes, they do exist!) from Glasgow in a local bar here. He told me a story, which is not uncommon he said, especially where he comes from, about an old schoolfriend of his. This friend has never been 'officially' employed, and has made no effort to be because he can live in free housing, with subsidised facilities and claim dole money of about £80 per week. Not much huh? Except that he peddles drugs; a thriving business with no lack of customers, especially in Scotland. From this illegal trade (cocaine mainly) he pockets, on average, £2,000 (tax free) per month, or maybe it was per week, I forget! Sometimes a lot more. There is something rather sickening about this I feel. So much for the deserving poor unemployed!

ART IN PARADISE- PATTAYA

 26th -27th Dec 2021

L'Artiste Superbe

I have been here, 'Art in Paradise', before (in 2019) but it was worth another visit. It is clever. You need to download an 'app' on your phone at the entrance which, when pointed at several of the 'pictures', brings them to life. The idea is that you should feature in the ensuing 'picture' or 'film clip'. There are two slight problems here a) it requires a bit of fiddling with displays and expertise on your phone and b) you need a competent partner to operate it if you want to be in it. I am not brilliant with these phones and I didn't have a partner.

As with many venues in town this place was almost totally devoid of visitors while I was there. I think there were about three or four others present, and it is a large two storey (is that OK Bernie?) exhibition/display. Fortunately I managed to cajole a helpful Thai girl and a young lad to assist at a few of the viewing points, but not all. I think they began to avoid me eventually. Anyway, they were very patient and kind but not experts and the results could, I am sure, have been more impressive.

For what it's worth I attach below some of the static pics and the film clips. There were many more but my lack of 'assistant' was a bit of a disadvantage. For one reason or another the film clips are sideways on and, for the life of me, I couldn't get them the right way up! You will have to turn your head, or computer, through 90 degrees. 

For 'full screen (enlarged) view of vids 'open', then click on box at bottom right. Click on box bottom right to return to page. I hope they work.....

Right: Crossing the gorge with dodgy plank.

Left: An Italian, I think, backdrop.

Right: Decapitated in the kitchen

An encounter with The Beast

Landing a Big One

Elephant and Monkey

Giraffe at the Waterhole

Camel at the Oasis. You are meant to hold the camel's lead as it sticks its tongue out but I couldn't find anyone to help film it.

Dali Making Eyes

Gondola in Venice (cut short by 'assistant')

Frog in the Rain. You are supposed to sit under his lily pad, but no help to do that.

That should give you some idea. They are transferred from YouTube which gives a better view, if you can find them. There was much much more. I noticed several buckets and plastic bins scattered around parts of the floors in some areas. Drips were coming from ceilings. They must have sprung a leak in the roof, or a water tank had over-filled. I hope no lasting damage.

So back to Bangkok the next day. Again, a cheap and efficient bus ride this time. It is extraordinary how people from this part of the world go to great lengths to avoid sunlight. As soon as we set off all the curtains were drawn. I like to see the scenery, but not so my fellow passengers. I noticed this especially in Vietnam where, mostly the women, wear long sleeves and wide brimmed hats (and masks) to keep the sun off their skin. To become 'tanned' or have darker skin is a no-no and regarded as demeaningly 'peasant-like'. I had a Vietnamese colleague, a very decent and competent chap, who had a darker skin and was referred to by his Vietnamese friends, not maliciously I hasten to add, as 'The Black Boy'. You would get arrested for saying that in UK!  Chemist shops there, and here, sell a vast and popular range of skin-whitening substances which probably do the users no good, but that is the fashion. Extraordinary to think what lengths Westerners go to show off a healthy tan to boast to their friends of how they can afford expensive 'sun-baked' holidays. C'est la vie.

I have cracked one of the problems viewing the vids! Click on arrow to open, and there is then a box at bottom right. Click on that to view 'full screen'. When finished there is a similar box bottom right to return. I expect some of you got there before me!

Still sideways on, but can't alter that. As far as I am aware. 

PATTAYA AND JOMTIEN REVISITED

 22nd - 25th Dec 2021

Christmas Day evening on the beach south of Jomtien

Onwards by minibus from Bangkok (Ekkamai) south-east to Pattaya. It is a cheap (£3) regular and efficient service, a 2.5 hour journey and reasonably comfortable. The motorway to Pattaya is, like so many out of Bangkok, a raised three lane highway which flies over all the suburbs where normal local traffic goes on below.

Left: Not my pic, but it gives you an idea. Unlike the the M4, and similar UK motorways (described and demonised a few blogs back), I have never experienced any serious roadworks, closed lanes or traffic jams on this route. How does a supposedly 3rd World country manage to engineer such an efficient, free-flowing road (with tolls to help pay for it) and we, in UK, have to put up with an obstacle course of eternal roadworks, blockages and arbitrary speed limits?

As with so many places in Bangkok, the once throbbing (and decidedly risqué) scene in Pattaya has been much curtailed by lack of tourists and previous Government restrictions. Right: So many shops, restaurants and bars have been closed. By no means all of course, but the sea front is practically deserted. Sad.

Left: The Shamrock Bar is one place that I remember fondly and has managed to remain open, albeit with shortened hours. The owner, an affable Irishman called Terry, says it has been a struggle to keep going and has cost him dearly to do so. Similar to Buddy's in Bangkok it is a hangout for expats and, like Buddy's, tends to be a staunchly, and rare, 'mask-free' oasis.

The menu at The Shamrock offers some good old-fashioned British fare such as 'bangers and mash', 'shepherds' pie', 'steak and chips' as well as the 'Full Engish Breakfast' etc. It also provides something called 'Thairish Stew'. I tried this and it was delicious. So good that I asked Terry to give me the recipe, which he did (right). Click on to enlarge and read. He mentioned that he missed out the vital addition of a sprinkle of thyme and oregamo. Strongly recommended and, even though I am no cook, will try to reproduce it when I get home.

There is a myriad of hotels in and around Pattaya and Jomtien. I stayed in two. They are struggling for custom and offering very cheap rates. Quite a bargain. The second one I stayed in, chosen by wandering past, called 'Mikes Hotel', was very clean and comfortable with good facilities, breakfast included. I only ever spotted one other guest (couple).

Left: Say no more! "Mfff mff!".

Much of my time was just spent wandering around and enjoying a relaxed time at various restaurants and bars, reading some books (on Kindle) and generally being completely idle. The lack of British newsapapers and TV (OK, I have internet, which is excellent out here, and which keeps me vaguely up to date) became a positive bonus as I was not subjected to daily wall-to-wall covid stats and panic. Why are we doing this to ourselves? Sadly the Thais, at the moment, are taking these panic measures to heart viv-a-vis tourists. Having said that there are no apparent social restrictions here and once in a bar/restaurant etc. life is normal.

Right: The back of a shopping complex on 2nd Street (parallel to to the sea-front Beach Street). An interestingly positioned Douglas DC3 aircraft.

Left: The front end. This was part of the 'Ripley's Believe It or Not' exhibition. Seen before, but worth another visit. This display is amusing and caters for children and people like me. I like the touch of the parachutist hanging from the tree (and there was a strange 'real' story attached to that about him being stranded for several days before being rescued) and you can actually climb into the (original) cockpit.

Right: Something on the wall at the entrance. Click on to enlarge. Give it a try.  Maybe I'm being naive, but it seems, mysteriously, to work. It must be obvious and simple but it baffled me. I'm easily baffled. I expect my monitors and supervisors at OMPITA will enlighten me as to how it works

Left: Amongst many weird exhibits was this vast collection of beer cans. I only captured one of three walls. OK, it maybe a spoof, but the sheer number of differing cans on display was impressive. It must have taken a lot of effort to assemble it.

Right: A wooden sculpture of a sports car. Forgot to note what kind. I'm sure someone will enlighten me. 

 

Left: My 'new best friend'. Not a very talkative one.

There are many more interesting 'exhibits' here and suggest you come to see. If nothing else they provide an exhibition which, as far as I am aware, is not replicated in UK. But that is before I have another 'dekko' at the 'Art in Paradise' museum. This is at the north end of Pattaya and I will resume there later.

In the meanwhile, I met up with some English friends who work out here (Rugby School Thailand if you are interested) for Christmas Lunch at a beach souh of Jomtien. We were due to meet up at 2.30pm, at a restaurant called The Glass House. It is a 10 km taxi ride from Pattaya. The Glass House is a large and quite upmarket venue. I arrived early and sat at the bar. I was then told that, here, they were forbidden, by law, to serve alcohol between 2.00pm and 5.00pm. "WTF!" I said to myself. Eventually my hosts found me and told me that they had gone next door to another nice restaurant, 'Bocco Beach'. There was no problem with serving wine there! We had a very delicious and amusing 'Chrexit' Lunch with much jollity and no shortage of alcohol. 

Left: a Jolly Christmas Lunch at Bocco Beach. 

It is quite extraordinary that the Thai Government seems to apply such weird and seemingly arbitrary rules. 'No alcohol sales' are supposedly applied between 2.00pm - 5.00pm in (some) restaurants, and after 9.00pm in shops. Except where they aren't. I was told the reason is, by a bar owner serving drinks all day, that the Government wants to prohibit schoolchildren buying alcohol on their way back from school. Heavens! What crap! In Thailand every adult has to carry an ID card. If they are worried about underage children buying hooch they only have to check their ID cards, if they have one. I suspect there is graft and backhanders to various police involved here. No doubt!

More to follow from the land of the ludicrous!]