PYONGYANG 2

29th Aug 2013

Heroes of the Korean War

It was pissing with rain as we left the hotel to visit the Fatherland Liberation War Museum. My Union Jack umbrella was put to good use. We arrived, in our bus, at the museum to find many cadres of military personnel and students formed up and waiting to visit outside the entry gates about 500 yards from the main building entrance.  Being tourists we were ushered through and dropped off ahead of the locals.

The new War Museum ( left ) has only recently been opened. It is indeed impressive. Sadly no photography is allowed inside ( not uncommon with many military museums ), so you will have to take my word for what we saw inside.            What was displayed was, technically and artistically most impressive. Indeed I have not seen  anything so elaborate and well displayed anywhere else. Very 'state of the art'. I asked who had designed all this and was told it was done by committee, instigated and approved by the Dear Leader, Kim Jong Il.

The main displays, almost exclusively, feature the 1950/53 Korean War. As you are no doubt aware,  and we were certainly made aware, this war was started by the Imperialist US Aggressors ( IUSA ), and their puppet regime in the South, who invaded the North in 1950. After being surprised by this unprovoked attack, the Great Leader, Kim Il Sung, inspired and, with great military genius and bravery, led the heroic North Korean forces ( ably assisted, one of out party pointed out, by Shock Troops of the Frampton-on Severn WI ) against all odds and succeeded in pushing the invaders back to the 38th Parallel, the original demarcation line. There are some extremely realistic and clever dioramas displaying military scenes, battle positions and equipment. They include a magnificent 360˚ revolving panorama depicting a great, and victorious, battle against the IUSA south of Seoul, incorporating much 'son et lumiere et smoke' etc. Also displayed are many 'Top Secret' documents, proving the IUSA's intentions to invade, recovered from the US Embassy in Seoul when the DPRK forces captured it during their subsequent advance into the South ( before honourably withdrawing ). The documents did look genuine, I must say.

Sadly, there was not much indication of the involvement of other UN troops ( only one diorama featured a few flags from other nations ) and no mention of UK forces or even, curiously, the Chinese. I must have been misinformed previously.

Outside, and the rain had stopped by now, was a series of well reconstructed trenches leading to a large display of captured and destroyed US military hardware ( armour and aircraft ). Whatever your 'take' on the historical accuracy, this museum is visually quite brilliant.

Then a short walk to where they have re-located the captured Imperialist US ship, USS Pueblo. As you will recall this was a US spy ship captured by the DPRK naval forces off the east coast of North Korea ( near Wonsan ) in January 1968. The crew were held in captivity for a long time, having confessed to spying, and the ship, still on the US register, never returned. A fine trophy ( right ). I think the GER2 marking stands for their 'cover'; General Environmental Research, or some-such.







Left: The main instrument monitoring room in the ship. I don't know much about electronics but this array of screens, dials and switches certainly looks 'state of the art' for the 1960s.













...and a couple of bullet/shell holes through the bridge window. Lots of the personal clothing and kit left behind by the crew was on display.
















We were escorted around the ship by a most enthusiastic lady soldier. She was only too happy to have her picture taken with us.

If nothing else, the DPRK military uniforms look a lot smarter than the Banana Republic camouflage outfits that UK forces are now required to wear. 

Right: Another view of the Fatherland Liberation War Museum. Following behind us there was a large number of military and student contingents being led into the museum to be inspired by the displays; and I'm sure they were.









We then visited the Koryo Hotel, the other smartest hotel in Pyonyang, where we could buy rations and other goodies before embarking on the next phase of our tour, a longish bus journey to Kaesong on the south-western border.

Talking of hotels, the one which dominates the Pyongyang city sky-line is this one ( left ), the Ryugyong Hotel, a vast pyramid ( shaped like Thunderbird 3 ) 105 stories high with 3000 rooms and with no less than 5 revolving restaurants on top. Truly impressive, or at least it would be if it was half-way finished. There is nothing much behind the outside concrete shell and shaded windows. This building was conceived in 1987, when an Egyptian company began construction, and it is, as yet, awaiting completion which will occur, we were told by our guide ( with barely concealed rolling eyes ) in 2014.









On by bus via the Reunification Highway ( right ) south towards Kaesong ( 90 miles distant ). We stopped for an excellent picnic ( great nosh and beer provided by the tour company ) in a 'service station' en-route. We were the only people in the service station and the picnic was laid out in an empty room ( with tables and chairs ). Another bus and one car was seen thus far. This road is a vast improvement on the M25, and no roadworks either. Or speed cameras. Or police. Or traffic.






Then on again and a detour to view some beautiful falls, the Pakyon Falls. These have great early (pre-history) Korean legendary significance. Lots of very ancient engravings and charming, if convoluted, stories concerning them which, unfortunately, I failed to note down. There was also a much appreciated bit of exercise; a 50 minute climb up to a fine Buddhist temple above them. Got a good sweat on but no pics of the temple.




On again, a further 40 mins, to Kaesong, a largish city which, we were told, had some light industry. It was noticeable that all N.Korean cities proved to be immaculately clean, but no sign of any overt shops or markets and absolutely no advertising signs. Very few motorised vehicles and most of the population travelled by bicycle ( very limited fuel is the problem ). They even have a few vehicles powered by burning wood; noticeable some miles off by the thick black smoke they produce. Not sure how they work.

Anyway, into the Janamsan Hotel where, we were reliably informed, there would be hot water and electricity. This proved partially correct even if the water was a rather interesting colour. One suspected it had not flowed for some time. It was a clean and friendly place with a good bar ( for us ) and good nosh. Even the lift worked, if only to get our luggage upstairs. Not many other guests, but the staff looked after us very well. In fact they were charming and, I felt, genuinely glad to see us. We learnt another Korean word "kahm-sa hah-mee-dah", "thank you".

More excitements to follow....stay tuned.

PYONGYANG 1

28th Aug 2013

The Grand People's Study House

Off at 8.45am this morning in our bus after a good breakfast ( but a bit of a struggle to get enough tea. I ordered five cups at the same time which seemed to work )  Our driver, whose name I never found out, was an admirable chap who, over the next couple of weeks would drive us faultlessly, and safely,  hundreds of miles, often doing 12 hour days. He religiously polished and cleaned his vehicle before the start of each day. We learnt a new Korean word from the delightful Song Sim this morning; "balli balli", which means "quick quick" or possibly "hurry up you lazy loafing idle foreign tourists".

First stop was the Mansudae Fountain Park ( left ). A pleasant enough rocky grassy area which features various ponds and fountains. Apparently some of them spout 80ft up. Unfortunately, today, which was National Youth Day and a day out for students, the fountains weren't working. We were told they were undergoing maintenance.

There did not seem to be many people in evidence.

Right: Another view across one of the fountain ponds to the Grand People's Study House, of which more later.

At this point it may be helpful, if in danger of boring you, to explain a bit about the North Korean philosophy, behaviour and traditions. One quickly learns that the ( late ) Great Leader, Kim Il Sung ( and President for eternity ) is not just highly respected; he is revered. He is modern day North Korea, and his son, the ( late ) Dear Leader, Kim Jong Il ( who died in December 2011 ) only just less so. Not so much mention is made, yet, of Kim Jong Un although he is elaborately feted wherever he goes. The worship of Kim Il Sung reminded me, perhaps to a slightly lesser extent, of the Buddhist's worship of the Lord Buddha. Large bronze statues of the Kims dominate the centres of all North Korean cities, and their portraits hang outside all major buildings. There are also portraits inside all main rooms, and every private household or apartment has to hang the Kims' portraits on their living room walls, and to use a specially dedicated duster to keep them clean.

Kim Il Sung embraced two main philosophies; 'Juche' ( pronounced Ju-Chay ) meaning, literally, 'master of oneself' and 'Songsun' meaning 'army first'. You can look up Juche on the internet if you are that interested, but it accounts in large part for the North Korean intense nationalistic pride, extreme socialist dogma and unshakable determination to remain isolated and, as far as possible, self sufficient. Children, from kindergarten upwards are well educated ( perhaps a touche cerebrally purified? ) in both Kims' histories, achievements and teachings. This history might occasionally be slightly manicured to enhance their standing.

Any newspaper, banknote or document carrying a picture of the Kims must also be treated with respect.  We were told these should not be folded, crumpled up or thrown away. It was also not permitted to take a photo of a statue which did not show the whole figure, or from the side, or back.

Then a walk up Mansu Hill towards the most sacred spot in North Korea; the Mansudae Grand Monument, 70ft high bronze statues of the Great Leader, Kim Il Sung and the Dear Leader Kim Jong Il. It was relatively recently that Kim Il Sung had to step two paces to the right to make room for his son, Kim Jong Il. In the background is a mosaic of Mount Paekdu, the highest peak on the Korean peninsular and place of spiritual importance for North Koreans.

We were 'encouraged' to buy a bunch of flowers to present at the monument. A lady was selling these at 4 Euros a go. If this wasn't a socialist country I thought, and if she was allowed to keep the money, she would probably be driving a Ferrari and holidaying in Gstaad for the winter. Amongst many contingents of soldiers ( almost equal numbers of male and female ) and students we walked up to the monument and dutifully placed our flowers on the shelf in front. Then we stepped back and were asked to stand in line and bow, in unison, respectfully. This is a holy place. I began to wonder if the flowers were recirculated.

Another short walk to view the grand Chollima statue ( left ). This, similar to Pegasus, was adopted as the symbol for massive national development after the Korean war; The Chollima Movement. Are there two people riding it? Reminded me of a horse jumping Bechers Brook before the emasculation of Aintree. The jockey, as you can see, is 'calling a cab'. Ma is the Korean word for horse.

On to the Grand People's Study House, an eight storey traditionally built edifice overlooking Kim Il Sung Square ( thats the one where all the grand parades take place ). It houses  the national library and is open to all citizens to promote reading, computer studies ( on the 'intra-net' ) and language courses. ( photo at top ).

There is a fine statue of Kim Il Sung in the vast foyer ( right ) and we were met by a local guide to escort us around and explain. Escalators and elevators took us to various floors.

The reading rooms were devoted to different subjects and purposes.

At the back of these rooms were libraries full of interesting technical, literary and scientific tomes....

....which were being assiduously studied by the local population ( right ). It was National Youth Day holiday, don't forget.

Further upstairs there was a music room where those interested could take out and listen to western music. We were played some Beatles tunes, the Yellow Submarine in particular. There was also a class being taught English by the innovative method of repeating after the teacher, verbatim, a random selection of English words.

Also a display at another floor, of how you could go to the counter and order any book you liked, which was then sent out from a back room on a conveyor belt. They demonstrated this for us by conveying out, by magic, copies of Gone with the Wind, Stories by Shakespeare and Introduction to Home Computer Programmes. One of our team asked for a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. This request was met with a rather blank look.

Up near the top there is a balcony from which the parades on Kim Il Sung Square are monitored and controlled. It provided a good viewpoint. The building in the foreground is from where the leaders take the salute.

Other grand buildings such as the Korean Central History Museum and the Korean Art Gallery surround the square. The tall monument in the distance across the river is the Juche Tower. We went up it, later.

Another view, to the north, over the Fountain Park, looking towards the vast monolithic Mansudae Assemby Hall ( the National Parliament building, or Supreme People's Assembly ) at the far left.

Doesn't the place look clean and tidy and pleasantly uncrowded and devoid of traffic. I bet Boris and TFL would appreciate this. Makes commuting less stressful.

A bookshop at the top was selling DVDs ( many of the Arirang Mass games of which you will hear  more later ) and some fascinating books. A selection of which ( left ). Click to enlarge and make sure you get your order in soon.

It also sold soft drinks, but no coffee ( too expensive ) for which, by now, I was gagging.

Right: A bit of the square where you can see, maybe, an array of marks and numbers painted on the ground. These are part of the highly complex parade and display markings which enable such impressive performances which take place on several occasions. If there's one thing the North Koreans do brilliantly, and in vast numbers, flawlessly, it is parades and displays.

Nothing we do here, in the west, holds a candle to them. Not even our Trooping of the Colour ( sorry Guardsmen ) or, dare I say it, the opening ceremony of the Olympics. Except I doubt if they could manage parachuting their Leader into the square or finding someone like Mr Bean to entertain the crowd. Laughs is not what it is all about. Having said that, they don't have to feel obliged to dig up the likes of Paul McCartney to embarrass the audience.

Off to lunch at a restaurant which specialised in chicken dishes. I won't bang on too much about our dining venues, except to say that we were very well fed and watered. The food was healthy and delicious, often in smart restaurants where we were given a private room or table and excellent service. I have no doubt that we were very specially looked after.

After lunch it was on to the Juche Tower on the south bank of the river. In front of which is this monument depicting the North Korean emblem of the Hammer ( Industry ), Sickle ( Agriculture ) and Writing Brush ( Intellectuals ). A slightly alternative take on the mere Soviet Hammer and Sickle.

For 5 Euros we went up, by lift, to the top for more good views of the city. It was a bit hazy.

A view north showing the enormous Mayday stadium in which we were later to see the famed Arirang Massed Games.

In the hall at the bottom were hundreds of plaques donated ( left ) by many nations and organisations sympathetic to, and offering their support for, the Juche system. The UK contribution was notably lacking but, surprisingly, there were many from French organisations and lots from African countries and Peru. I couldn't work it out. The US and Japan definitely did not feature.

Onwards to the Korean Workers Party Monument ( right ). Another local guide was there to tell us all about it ( this was all magnificently organised ). Many vital statistics of measurements were painstakingly described which pertained to years and dates concerning Kim Il Sung and the history of the Peoples Workers' Party. I have no recollection, sadly.

Off next in our bus, which had followed us around like a loyal gundog, to the Mangyongdae Revolutionary Site, about 10 miles south of the city. This is another holy place where The Great Leader, Kim Il Sung, was born ( in 1912 ) and spent his first few years. His father was a small time farmer. This is another place of pilgrimage for North Koreans. It consists of a very 'refurbished' collection of huts and shows the 'original' tools and domestic implements used by Kim Il Sung's family. There is a well nearby from which we were encouraged ( I did ) to pull and drink some water which would make us 10 years younger. As it transpired this was one of many water sources connected to Kim Il Sung which, if drunk, would make you 10 years younger. By now, if true, I should be looking about 12 years old. I am still eagerly awaiting the results.

Can't remember what this 'street' is but it was on our way back into the city. One of several large and ostentatious roads which put the M25 to shame and yet to experience a traffic jam. Or road works. Or cars.

Next stop on the agenda was a Middle School in the south of the city. We were guided around it by the headmistress. Lots of children ( 12 to 16 yr olds ) were playing sports outside. We arrived at about 5pm and general school had finished ( school hours are, I think, 9am to 2pm with extra-curriculum activities afterwards; sports, music, dancing etc. ). The classrooms were impeccable and each boasting portraits of The Leaders. There are special classrooms for the teachings and history of Kim Il Sung, and Kim Jong Il.

We were then treated to a song, music and dance performance by the pupils lasting a full hour. They were brilliant! Incredibly jolly and immaculately, skilfully, performed. All in rather elaborate  costumes and at a standard that would be inconceivable in UK schools. OK, it was done to impress us foreigners, but seriously impressive nevertheless. As mentioned before, it maybe somewhat robotic, but the North Koreans can certainly put on a show, even at this level. I have some video film of this, and of subsequent performances, but they don't seem to work on this blogsite, more's the pity.

Back to the hotel and another magnificent dinner. Pool and bar afterwards. This was a very busy first day of touristing. Non-stop and a full programme. Many other sites were seen and explained to us but I have exhausted myself describing the main ones. It continues like this, have no fear, and I will do my best to keep up the record ( primarily for my benefit I hasten to add ).

Impressions from day 2:

1. Again, everything so immaculately clean and tidy.

2. Impressive lack of traffic.

3. Impressive lack of shop fronts and any form of advertising.

4. Extraordinary influence and reverence of Kim Il Sung.

5. Good food.

6. Extraordinary organisation. Like clockwork.

Another packed programme for tomorrow... this is going to keep me busy.

TO THE DEMOCRATIC PEOPLES' REPUBLIC OF KOREA ( NORTH KOREA )

The Great and Dear Leaders

24th - 27th Aug 2013

Off by tube to Heathrow to catch a BA flight to Helsinki and onwards with Finnair to Beijing. Naturally the only parts of this trip ( written in retrospect as there is no internet in North Korea ) which did not run like clockwork were the bits in England. Of course I gave myself tons of time to get to Heathrow and just as well because the tube, graunching and grinding reluctantly down the Piccadilly Line with the normal bossy, often unintelligible, overlapping and entirely unnecessary 'announcements' ( why on earth, if they have nothing else to pester you with, do they have to announce "there is a good service on all Underground lines"? I always think "Let me be the judge of that" and it is meaningless anyway because a signal failure or someone flinging themselves under a train can, and often does, happen the next minute ) juddered to a halt somewhere near Turnham Green. After about 5 minutes waiting we were informed by the driver that "there is a tree branch hanging over the line somewhere"!! Well there's a surprise. We got going again after about 15 minutes. Of course I had no need to worry about being late ( which I wasn't ) because the BA flight, in true tradition, was delayed 45 minutes. I did worry, however, that I might miss my connection in Helsinki. Heathrow airport is on a par with the London Underground system; chaotic, antiquated, noisy, uncomfortable and unreliable. In short, a dump. After sacrificing the 'K' in my emergency 'KFS' set which I had inadvertently carried in my small bag, we departed.

Fortunately, due to many other pax attempting to catch the Finnair flight onwards from Helsinki, the transit through was quick and the gate held open until all had got there ( otherwise they would have had the problem of having to off-load our checked through hold baggage ).

The 7 hour flight to Beijing T3 arrived at 6.50am. Things now became more civilised. There is a  shiny new hi-tech 'Airport Express' which takes you effortlessly, comfortably and cheaply ( £2.50 ) into the city centre ( 40 mins ) and the only announcements were to tell you, in Chinese and English  "you are now approaching Yingtongtiddleyepo", or wherever, and "Please prepare for your revel". I think they mean "arrival". It connects after only two stops to the Beijing Metro; another example of hi-tech efficiency, and so cheap! 2 Yuan ( 20p ) for any one journey of whatever length.

I booked into the charming little YoYo Hotel in Sanlitun ( highly recommended at £35 per night ). and spent the next couple of days visiting a few old haunts and a few new ones in the area which boasts many amusing shops, bars. pubs and restaurants including 'Paddy's Irish Bar' which does a fairly respectable 'bangers and mash' for the jaded western palate. 

So now, morning of 27th, back to the airport ( T2 ) to meet up with our group due to leave for Pyongyang.

From here on, and with genuine respect for our excellent tour guides and travel agent, I shall  resist writing this journal in my usual somewhat 'piss-taking' fashion. To do so would cause 'umm' and possibly serious consequences for them if, in the unlikely event, this is read in certain quarters. I must be careful and uncontroversial. You might have to read between the lines a bit.

Left: Our Air Koryo Yakolov 124-100 aircraft, a Russian Airbus A320 equivalent, which took us on the 90 minute flight to Pyongyang. Comfortable enough with in-flight refreshment of beer and a roll containing a substance which tasted fine but caused much inconclusive discussion about what it actually was. All this accompanied by a patriotic video with soothing marshal music.

Literature provided included the admirable 'Korea Today' magazine containing fascinating articles on 'Story of a Tank Division', 'Victorious Anti-Japanese Armed Struggle' and 'Kimilsungism-Kimjongilism'. Most revealing.


Our group was 15 strong, led by the charming, efficient and unflappable agency rep, Carl. Other than he, I couldn't help feel that our party somewhat resembled a Derby & Joan Club outing. Mostly retired people with considerable travelling experience including a retired French professor/businessman for whom this was his 6th trip to North Korea in 8 years ( he was fascinated by, and very knowledgeable about, the place ), a retired engineer and his wife ( a luminary of the Frampton-on-Severn WI ), two professional American ladies, a retired American businessman and a retired couple from North London. As it turned out they were a most amusing and, indeed, adventurous bunch. We got along with each other remarkably well. This at times became a sort of 'team building' exercise.

On arrival at Pyongyang 'Sunan' International, about the same size as George Best ( City ) airport, Belfast. Our passage through immigration and customs was relatively swift and trouble free. The only things the customs seemed interested in were our mobile phones. When I showed my antediluvian model I sensed he felt rather sorry for me.

We met our chief guide, Miss Kim Song Sim and her oppo' Mr Lee. They were well known to Carl, our agency man, and he rated them highly. As it turned out he was proved correct. Kim Song although only 31 years old had been doing this job for 8 years, spoke perfect English ( and now a bit more due to some helpful and polite slang which we taught her ) and was understandably quite knowledgeable about 'The West'. They did, however, have to conform strictly to various protocols concerning do's and don'ts, mostly involving photography. We had been well briefed on this previously. As it turned out, provided you asked, she was remarkably easy-going and flexible about this. They were to be with us for the full 18 days. The only no-nos on photos were of the military personnel and establishments, and of people working ( not sure why ), and we should ask other locals if they mind before photographing them ( only polite, really ).
Right: Kim Song Sim on the mike.



Onto the bus and before heading to the hotel we stopped at the 'Arch of Triumph' ( looks familiar? ) in the city centre.
This is dedicated to the 'home return of the Great Leader Kim Il Sung' who, as you are no doubt aware, liberated Korea from the hated Japanese Colonialists in 1945.
All the statues and monuments to Kim Il Sung, and his son Kim Jong Il, of which there are more than you can shake a stick at, are constructed with dimensions or ornaments which symbolise some date relating to their birth or achievements. These dimensions are all painstakingly described by a guide at every monument/stature. Forgive me if I can't remember them all or, to be precise, none of them.

We then wandered across the road to where a large ladies' choir was singing some jolly songs ( all choirs and performances, as I came to discover, are 'large' in this country ) in front of an engraved monument extolling the virtues of The Great Leader and his achievements. Lots of guitars and accordions. As well as jolly songs there were also some rousing military ones. This was the equivalent of the Army Wives' Choir.


We had only been in the country for a couple of hours and already seen a few of the Pyongyang sights. Also instructed by Song Sim on our first word of Korean "Anh nyuhng hah se myko" which means "hello". Even by the end of the tour not many of us could remember this. Seemed a rather complicated way of just saying 'hello' if you ask me.

Then on to our hotel, the Yanggakdo, on Yanggak Island in the Taedong river which runs through the city. A 47 storey job with a ( sometimes ) revolving restaurant on the top.  It was very comfortable. Contrary to warnings the lights ( on our floor ) and hot water all worked. There was even BBC 24 TV in rooms occupied by foreigners, if you can call that a bonus.

We were fed delicious and plentiful dinners, (with beer courtesy of our 'package') and breakfasts while here. Most Korean meals feature their local delicacy 'Kimchi' which is a sort of pickled spicy cabbage. I rather liked it. The only thing they seemed to skimp on was tea ( Liptons ) where one tea bag was used to make several cups, each individually. Coffee and tea ( imported ) are very expensive. There were a surprising number of tourists in the hotel from many different countries. This, according to our French professor, was a big and positive change from even a year ago.



 The Yanggakdo ( right ) has a extensive basement area which boasts a casino, ping-pong room ( at which the Koreans are ace ), a pool/billiards room, additional restaurant, ten-pin bowling alley, swimming pool. sauna and massage facility amongst other things probably.
Once in the hotel for the night we were not permitted to leave it. No problem because there was not much to go to or see at night, and we were on an island, and the beer in the pleasant ground floor bar ( local lager and very good too ) cost 1 Euro per large 640ml bottle. A cup of coffee cost 3 Euros. Most foreign spending was done in Euros but it was sometimes problematical to get change. The local currency, the Won, could not be used by foreigners.

First impressions on a busy first half day ( and it got much busier ) were:
1. Pyongyang is spotlessly clean.
2. Remarkably uncrowded and very few cars.
3. Our tour 'guides' seemed  charming and helpful.
4.  The nosh, so far, is good and beer is cheap. I was hoping to continue my rigorous diet here but this might have to be shelved.

....onwards tomorrow on a tour of the city.

STANDBY FOR MORE.....

Uncle Matt is off on his travels again. This time a shortish trip to North Korea, via China. I have had to abandon ( temporarily ) my no-fly principles and will be flying initially to Beijing for a couple of days where I hope to revisit a few favourite watering holes before going on to Pyongyang. There I will be joining a small group of, hopefully, amusing fellow travellers . We will be in the country for 18 days visiting several outlying districts which I doubt many tourists will have seen, accompanied, no doubt, by officially approved 'guides'. We are to be shuttled around by mini-bus and Antonov 26. It will be fascinating to experience domestic North Korean piloting skills, amongst all else.

Why a visit to the People's Democratic Republic of North Korea?...Out of sheer curiosity, that's why!

I am told that there are no public internet facilities out there so this journal will have to be continued on my return, sometime around the middle of September. Hopefully.

Stand-by for further revelations.......

POST SCRIPT - LONDON

2nd Aug 2012

Back in London amidst all the Olympic hoo-hah which Boris Johnston appears to be enjoying so enormously reminds me of something. It was probably reflected in parts of the extremely long Games Opening Ceremony which I endured on TV. It was absolutely nothing to do with the superannuated, plastically enhanced, dyed and vocally challenged 'Sir' Paul McCartney. By the way, has anyone noticed how alike he now is to Ken Dodd ( without the sense of humour )? What a disastrous finale that was!
It was apparent to me on my extended travels that there are three aspects of the UK, and ONLY three, which are universally recognised, admired and enjoyed by the entire population of the world. I encountered this recognition from the subways of New York to the minority tribes in the north-west of Vietnam, on the steppes of Mongolia and poorest parts ofMexico, in the temples of Burma and on Red Square in Moscow, absolutely everywhere in fact. They are:
1. Premier League Football
2. The Royal Family
3. Mr Bean

Just thought I'd mention it.

THE END

After 17th June 2012.

Jules, Hottie and Martin

From Harwich it was back to my original start point up at Mundesley, Norfolk, to be revived by Martin and Jules. This visit gave some symmetry to my voyage. It didn't seem that long ago that I left their front door on my way to catch the MS Tanzania at Felixtowe on the 25th January 2011.

As promised, and primarily for my own benefit if and when I go on further voyages, I aim here to lay out lists and tips for planning purposes. It might help others and I expect there are some areas of which I am still ignorant ( or just plain wrong ) and better solutions have already been identified. If so, I hope someone will advise me. Nothing like passing on information and recounting disasters to make people aware and avoid the same pitfalls. I usually try not to forget the six Ps; Prior Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance, or major disasters anyway. Having said that, the only serious prior planning I did was sorting out my tedious domestic affairs before I left and booking each container ship passage about a couple of months ahead. Travelling on these ships requires early(ish) reservations, a medical certificate ( it inconveniences the crew to have to fill in all the paperwork for burials at sea or keep your body in cold storage which takes up valuable beer and food space ) and a bit of documentation done through agents. Other than that I planned everything else on the back of the proverbial 'fag packet' as I went along and never bothered with prior accommodation reservations. Even the 'Palace on Wheels' and the 'Hurtigruten Cruise' were booked only a few days before they left; and I got a discount for the last minute bookings! I was prepared to be entirely flexible. I also wanted to publish a final blog just so that I can title it 'THE END', because the first one, if I remember correctly, was entitled 'THE BEGINNING'. 

I will arrange and edit this as I go along, so initially, in no particular order, a few things which I benefitted from, or fell foul of. You will get it in instalments. Eventually. It will be amended periodically as I think of other things to add.

1. MONEY. The advice which I received from my UK bank ( Lloyds TSB Canary Wharf branch ) in preparation for a prolonged absence, with no fixed abode, during which I would require access to funds worldwide was, quite simply, non-existent through appalling to downright misleading. In my ignorance, and I was admittedly somewhat naive and in a hurry, they persuaded me to transfer money into one of their deposit accounts with a pathetic interest rate from which I could move funds to a current account and from which I could withdraw cash, when necessary, using a debit card. Also to take one of their credit cards, and sign up to some ( £6.99p per month ), useless as it turned out, fraud alerting scheme. They robbed me blind with a scandalous exchange rate, the credit card never worked for some reason and they even had the nerve to charge me £50 plus later penalties the following year for holding it without using it. All the debit card withdrawals abroad were subject not only to the foreign bank charges but also to a % charge by Lloyds. Lloyds TSB benefitted from me, and certainly not the other way around! Bandits.

I actually went ballistic about this just after leaving which I followed up with a vengeance on my return and, to avoid bloodshed in front of other customers and losing whatever little money I had left banked with them, they gave me a reasonable sum in compensation and paid me back all my ATM and other expenses. It pays to be utterly persistent and an unforgiving Mr Seriously Bloody Angry Basil Fawlty with these greedy blood-suckers and they will re-fund you, a bit, from their bottomless pit of filthy lucre. Although many of you will be much more financially astute than me, and there are no doubt many alternative ways of preparing one's finances efficiently, the basics that I would have changed prior to departure, and the few things I got right are:

1. Open a deposit and current account with an international bank such as HSBC, CityBank or even ANZ. You will find branches of these in most parts of the world and if you have a financial hiccup they should be able to sort you out on the spot.
2. Take one of those international cards onto which you can transfer amounts of money ( free ) and withdraw cash at ATM machines without charge.
3. Get some advice from an independent source and not from a provincial UK bank!
4. I used a MBNA credit card which proved fine. No annual charges and, as far as I am aware, gathered no fraudulent expenditure.
5. I kept MBNA aware of where I was going and to be aware if any charges were made from other countries unexpectedly. I thought they were rather helpful.

2. DOCUMENTS

1. Point of Contact in UK. This is essential for peace of mind. I had a mate in UK who was willing and able to hold copies of various important documents on his computer so, should I lose any, or my computer, he could transmit copies to an internet cafe or anywhere else. He was also available to run any 'emergency' errands if necessary
2. Insurance. I took out a year policy, the max they would do, for worldwide travel with a company called ‘Insure and Go’. It cost me about £500, but did not cover loss of any valuable items ( over £150 ). I regretted this when my expensive computer was irreparably damaged. I had to extend the period of cover for another six months from India and they were initially reluctant to do so. As it happened I had no need to use any of their insurance so didn’t put it to the test. 
3. Copies of passport and visas. I had these as photocopies, documents on my computer and, if that all failed, copies with my ‘point of contact’ in UK.
4. Passport photos. Hold a generous supply for visas and other things, like ship ID cards etc. Keep printable copies on computer. Saves searching in vain for a passport photo shop in Bongobahatmingtung, or wherever
5. Codes, PINs, passwords. Needed to access numerous accounts and computer services. I kept several copies of personally encrypted, and to any potential thief incomprehensible, passwords etc. One in each bag. 
6. UK mail. Royal Mail redirection to my UK point of contact ( POC ).
7. Contact telephone nos. Again, important contact numbers for banks, services, insurance, and anything else you can think of, to be kept on paper and computer, encoded if necessary. The one thing I was always aware of was someone nicking any bags or documents I carried and then be able to access my confidential details.
8. Notebook and diary. I found both invaluable. Like any good army officer, I carried a small pocket notebook and pencil wherever I went. Often came in useful.
9. UK plastic driving licence. This is, of course, necessary should you wish to hire a car. I was never asked for the paper bit. I only used a car once, in Tasmania. The UK plastic licence, once you had carefully superimposed an ‘official’ badge on it ie EU stars, UN logo, Armed Forces etc, then photocopied and laminated the result was good enough to fool some foreign countries ( one in particular which you can probably guess ) into giving you a hotel or tour discount. I even had one headed with Alcoholics Anonymous which I never did find a use for.

3. SECURITY

1. Dummy wallet. I always carried a cheap soft wallet containing a selection of out of date credit/debit cards, my Dennis the Menace Fan Club membership card and a small amount of local currency. This was to be deployed should some bandido come up and wave a gun or knife at me and demand my money or my life. They never did. My real cards and money were carefully zipped up or left elsewhere. In fact this wallet was one of only three things that I lost on the entire journey; it was pickpocketed, from an open pocket, by Romanian brats in Oslo central station I think. I had got complacent and had rather forgotten about it by then. The only other things I lost were my Alcatraz baseball cap which I left on the bus on arrival at Guadelajara, and my Burmese walking stick which I left on a train in Hanoi.
2. Storage of valuables. When travelling I kept valuable docs ( ie passport, tickets and wallet with cash and cards ) in strong zip pockets inside my jacket. Second most valuable things ( ie computer, camera, rat ) I kept in my small backpack which never left my sight. Of course I never kept back-ups in the same case as the originals. I never left valuables in hotel room safes which can be accessed by dishonest staff who know the emergency opening codes ( often 0000 with a # or * ) Where else would they look to find valuables? I hid them somewhere in a lock up suitcase. I only took the minimum needed when out on the wander ( plus my dummy wallet of course ).
3. Cases. Initially my main bag was a very nice large zip-up model with towing handle and wheels. It was fine but I soon learnt that zips on unattended baggage are very vulnerable, even if padlocked. You just stick a pointed object ( like a biro ) through the zip and it breaks open. Someone did this to my bag on the rare flight I took between Panama and Lima. They also broke open a small padlock. Nothing was stolen, but it had been opened. I got it repaired ( something you can do in Lima ). When I got to Singapore I replaced it with a bright red hard lock-up suitcase which, although heavier, had good wheels and was much more secure and user friendly. I also put a garish purple coloured lock-strap around it both for added security and easy recognition. You could sit on it apart from anything else. I also carried a small trolley bag ( blue with pink spots ), and a very small backpack. By the way, get bags of weird bright colours. Black or grey bags are so common that people often mistake theirs for yours or vice-versa. A thief would be reluctant to run off with a blue pink spotted model as much to preserve his macho image as for the fact that it would be instantly recognisable.
4. Check lists. I always ran through a check list of valuable items before leaving any location; room, train, cabin...anywhere. It became second nature ( pilot training and previous habit probably helped ). I used a mnemonic to remember this list. In my case it covered watch, wallet, specs, passport, papers ( tickets ), camera, computer, pen, keys, hat. Make your own up of course.
5. Stay sober. Of course I don’t mean stay sober all the time! I just mean stay sober when you are packing or on the move or wandering around down-town. As  I think I have already pointed out somewhere, 90% of travelling mishaps of whatever nature occur to people when they are pissed. It is almost stating the bleedin’ obvious, but bears repeating because it seems to go on happening to the stupid and ignorant . Thems what overindulge almost deserve to be robbed, lose things, miss deadlines, fall off balconies, drown, get into fights, get run-over, get beaten up, get lost, get ripped off and the list goes on.
6. Avoid dodgy areas. It is not difficult to realise when you are somewhere dodgy ( unless, of course, you are pissed ). Every country/city/town has them including, to a greater extent than many, London and all big American cities. Enough said.
7. Taxis. Another subject dear to my heart. Once you are in a taxi you are at the mercy of the driver. BEWARE, especially in 3rd world countries where dangers range from just being ripped-off to being abducted and robbed or even robbed and murdered. Always order taxis from a reliable source.
8. Documents. As mentioned, you need to carry sensitive details such as passwords and codes for financial and personal information. Just make sure they are kept secure and suitably encrypted and make sure you would not be embarrassed if any bag or computer was stolen.

4. EQUIPMENT.

1. Computer. I am ignorant about computers. I took a small and expensive one. I should have taken a small and cheap one. However 'tough and rugged' the smooth-patter salesman says they are, they are all wrecked by just a splash of liquid in the wrong place. I also learnt ( after mine was destroyed by liquid ) that you can buy keyboard protection 'skins' which protect effectively against liquid spills. It begs the question 'why don't they sell these computers with protection against spills in the first place?' Because they want you to wreck your computer so you have to buy a new one, that's why! Bandits again. I expect everyone reading this will be more computer savvy than me. I expect everyone is aware of carrying, in a seperate bag, a hard-drive back-up.
2. Camera. I used a small Lumix/Panasonic job which fittted into my pocket and which produced decent enough photos. I saw some tourists carrying enormous lumps of photographic equipment. Some looked as if it needed wheels. They must have been knackered just carrying it around, not to mention the expense and chance of it getting damaged or stolen. I mean, unless you are doing a professional job for National Geographic or similar, you just need something that takes decent snaps with which to bore your friends and family when you get home. I kept a back up of my photos on a memory stick as well as on my computer.
3. Kindle. ( or any electronic book I suppose ). Invaluable. I think I read more books ( of the trashiest kind I hasten to add ) during this journey than in the whole of the rest of my life put together. Electronic books are marvellous for story books, but not good for guide books ( ie Lonely Planet and of that ilk ), because with these you need to be able to flick back and forth and make notes and jottings. 
4. Alarm clock. Useful. You can also use your mobile phone, but a cheap plastic alarm clock by the bed or bunk I found more user friendly and effective ‘cos you can see the time when you wake up.
5. Ziplock plastic bags. Incredibly useful. They cost bugger-all and I bought about 20 of these in America and they served me for the rest of the trip to store items such as electic adaptors, chargers, pens, memory sticks and a multitude of other little things which otherwise would have got tangled up or lost.
6. Mobile phone. Actually, I never used one, except in Vietnam where I had my old basic Nokia model and which worked perfectly, and cheaply ( 2p per minute ), after not having been there for 18 months ( in UK they pack up after 6 months and cost the earth on a pay-as-you-go system ) and also sometimes as a back-up alarm clock. I don’t have one of those ‘smart-phones’ or ‘i-phones’ or anything like it. It is just another expensive small item to lose or get stolen, and anyway I think you have to buy new ‘sim’ cards for them when you change country. Not sure about that. I found the ‘Skype’ service on my PC, and I had a small credit account to enable ringing landlines worldwide, incredibly efficient, user friendly and, above all, even when skyping long distance on phone links, incredibly cheap. Most calls to mobiles or land-lines were only about 2p a minute, or less. A £10 credit lasted me a couple of months on average. I am a Skype fan now. I will use Skype in favour of any other rip-off communication system when back in Blighty.
7. Calculator. OK, I know these calculator facilities are on all computers and smart-phones etc., but I found carrying a basic cheap little pocket calculator useful. You can whip ‘em out quickly to check how much you are being diddled at money changing facilities without having to fiddle through the programs on an expensive ‘clever’ device.
8. Adaptors and charging units. I kept these separated in ziplock plastic bags, in a larger bag in my suitcase. In fact I gathered a considerable quantity of them. It was probably the heaviest collection of gizmos that I carried. I didn’t realise that so many countries in the world had their own separate electric plug systems, and I found I had chargers for so many things ( PC, camera battery, Kindle, mobile phones, even my electric toothbrush! ). Perhaps I should have discarded some, but I didn’t. I still have Peruvian adaptors which, as far as I can see, are not useful anywhere else. But they might have been; who knows.
9. Tools and maintenance. Leatherman ‘multi-tool’, bottle opener, corkscrew, knife/fork/spoon ( KFS ), scissors, heavy duty adhesive tape, selection of padlocks, super-glue, roll of string, Stanley knife, large 18” long hefty spanner which I kept to hit things with and, if in doubtful company ( taxis in Mexico ), as a handy close-quarter weapon. Not needed as such, thankfully.    

5. CLOTHES

1. Sleeveless jacket.The most useful item of clothing, by far, for me was a lightweight sleeveless jacket. I had a couple of these. To get a good one is like finding ‘rocking-horse droppings’. I don’t mean a stupid fancy looking ‘fisherman’s’ thing with thousands of pockets, rings to hang things from and patches, I mean a simple, unostentatious, light, tough, comfortable jacket with four outer pockets and, importantly, two large zip-up inner pockets for wallet and documents ( such as passport ) when travelling. This light jacket can be worn under heavier cold-weather clothing if necessary. It is surprising how rare quality garments of this type are. I think I will design a suitable product when I have the time.
2. Cold weather kit. I carried with me all the way my cold weather kit i.e. quality North Face jacket, gloves, woolly hat, thick socks, heavy sweater etc. I used them on MS Tanzania, in northern USA, Canada, south island of New Zealand, Mongolia, Siberia, Norway. So for the greater part of the journey they were just bulky heavy baggage. Maybe it would have been more efficient to have bought cheap warm stuff when I needed it and chucked it afterwards. I hate throwing stuff away. Why else would I find a model of the Statue of Liberty, packs of awful CDs, a large atlas, German dictionary, book of magic tricks, a large plastic bottle of Sri Lankan herbal tonic, maps and travel guides from most of the places I visited, three Indian race-cards, 5 hats which I never wore, a fistful of fridge magnets and goodness knows what else in my suitcase on unpacking in London. No wonder my suitcase weighed a ton. On the positive side, it made it more difficult for a thief to run off with it.
3. Perhaps the real message regarding clothes is not to pack too many and buy and discard as you go. I only ever had one pair of shoes at a time ( I got through 4 pairs ); ones that were sturdy and comfortable to walk longish distances in. 

6. GUIDE BOOKS I used a selection, and they are rather essential if you don’t want to waste a lot of time and to make the most of your visits. The most consistent was Lonely Planet which was particulary reliable for info on accomodation and gave a good selection of different price ranges. I never pre-booked hotels and by avoiding, by accident, the busy tourist periods, never had a problem in finding a room; until I got to Denmark. Rough Guide is much more oriented just towards the back-packer. I remember using a Fodors and Frommers in Central America and Australia respectively. They were excellent too, especially the Fodors for Central America.  I could only find a Michelin one in St Petersburg ( the others had sold out ) for the Nordic countries and which was absolutely useless in comparison. Sometimes I just had to take what I could find. They were all pretty expensive and I had to leave them behind at a grateful hostelry or with someone I met when I left the country. It is possible to download them from a computer or onto Kindle, but I reckon it is necessary to be able to thumb through them, sometimes on the street, and make notes in them. The LP guides tended to have excellent city maps. Even so, they are not foolproof and contained several inaccuracies.

7. PHRASE BOOKS.  What a joke they are! The problem with most of them is that you should not need to speak a language you can't understand in ‘phrases’, and it is even counterproductive when trying to do so. If you do actually manage to make yourself understood ( unlikely ) to a Chinaman in Mandarin asking something like “Which is the best way to Tiananmen Square”, the answer he gives you will be entirely unintelligible unless you speak fluent Mandarin which rather defeats the idea of having a phrase book in the first place. They also have loads of utterly unneccessary rubbish in them along the lines of “stop the coach, the postillion has been hit by lightening” or “I think you dance very well”. They might as well add things like “...and you don’t sweat much for a fat lass”.....I mean, what a load of cobblers. I remember a phrase in a Welsh language phrase book; "Can you tell me where I can get coverage for my mobile phone?". Can you conceive of any Welshman out in the hills or valleys of Wales who doesn't speak English but who would have intimate knowledge of mobile phone coverage? Ridiculous! These books just look nice and sell at biggish prices to the gullible and are, on the whole, useless. What you need is a small pamphlet, or even a single sheet of paper, with key words on it. You know like “stop”, “yes”, “no”, "arrive", “go”, “when”, “bugger off” etc. etc. plus numerals, days of the week, months, and other essentials, even pictures, for use in extremis. I have discovered just the thing; slim ‘pocket dictionaries’ published by Periplus ( www.periplus.com ), or what used to be Tuttle Publishing. They slip easily into a pocket, are so simple and basic to use and have all the words you will need at a glance both from English to Language and vice-versa. I have had many an interesting conversation with foreigners using these by passing the little volume back and forth between us. I remember nearly buying an elephant by mistake using this method. I think major UK bookshops have them or can order them. I got a couple over the internet. In fact the only countries where I had even remote difficulty with locals ( of the tourist orientated variety ) not speaking enough English to get by were bits of China ( I was impressed by how much English was spoken in Peking and the proliferation of signs in English thanks, I suppose, to the 2008 Olympics ), Mongolia, Russia and parts of Central America. Outside the hotels, Russia was perhaps the most awkward.

8. MEDICAL.

     

    

1. Innoculations. I got the minimum essential jabs before I left. I was told that some innoculations can even have bad side effects. Someone mentioned Hepatitis B and Japanese Encephalytis ( forgive spelling ) in this light. I am not a medical expert of course, but I don’t like the idea of pumping my body full of chemicals which are not absolutely necessary. I think I had Hepatitis A and Tetanus/Typhoid jabs. I most certainly never took any anti-malarial stuff. It really isn’t necessary unless you are off to live in the jungle. I remember being compelled to take some ghastly green pills ( anti-malaria ) called Doxycyclin for a period of 8 months when working in Cambodia. They made me feel quite ill, and had worse and quite long lasting effects on some others. Of course Americans are persuaded, using fear tactics and concerted advertising by pharmaceutical companies, to buy every vaccine, pill and prophylactic known to mankind. I remember one couple on the Palace on Wheels train who proudly showed me a whole suitcase full of drugs which they humped around with them. It was one of their main topics of conversation ( yawn yawn ). They have probably both died from an overdose of something by now. So, regarding pills and potions; get real. I reckon judicious infusions of whisky, gin, beer and wine get rid of most bugs. In any event I didn’t suffer from anything as far as I can remember! The fewer pills you take the better in my humble opinion.
2. Medical treatment. The only treatment I required was in Adelaide, Oz, after my arm swelled up after being attacked on the Ghan train by bed bugs. The Aussie medical system even provided me with some sort of repayment and medical ‘card’ for treatment by an excellent ( British ) doc in a local clinic. I knew the treatment you would receive in most places, especially Costa Rica, Panama, Singapore, Thailand ( they all specialise in treating foreigners as well as their own ) would be excellent. I had to get medicals to travel on the container ships ( they don't want to risk the bureaucracy of burials at sea ) and found remarkably smart, efficient, pleasant and inexpensive clinics to do this in Costa Rica, Panama, Lima. Russell ( NZ ) and Adelaide. There is nothing in these places like the squalor and mayhem that exists in many of the medical establishments in UK.
3. Documents. Of course I had insurance to cover any serious medical treatment and repatriation which thankfully was not needed. I remembered to keep the little insurance plastic card with me. I also carried the European Health Insurance card ( EHIC ) issued in UK before I left. I gather that this is also valid in Russia. It gets you free/cheap treatment in the participating countries.
4. Medical kit. I carried lots of seasick preventions; elastic things to go around my wrists and pills. I used them initially because I was not at all keen, paranoid perhaps, about getting seasick ( I had a very bad experience many years ago on a smart yacht in the Med after a delicious lunch; an experience which put me off boats for life ). As it happened I never did get sick even when I stopped taking these pills soon after leaving UK. I didn’t even bother when the sea was pretty rough on the ferry between N & S islands in New Zealand. I must have become immune. I carried immodium for tummy upsets which I didn't get, and some stuff to clear yourself of lice or fleas if unlucky enough to become infested. Apart from the bed bugs on the Ghan I didn’t get any other things crawling over me and sucking my blood. Or if they did I didn’t notice.

9. GENERAL TIPS.


     a. Always give yourself plenty of time.
     
     b. Don't trust anyone who offers unsolicited services or goods.


     c. Get references and advice from an impartial source.


     d  Don't believe anyone who gives advice who hasn't been there and done it themself, recently.


     e. Is it safe or good? Use your instinct and if in doubt, don't.


     f. You lose money on exchange rates. Avoid unnecessarily converting currencies.


     g. In Oz and NZ join their YHA hostels association.


     h. If you 'have' it, carry ID for forces, UN, government agencies in USA. Hotel discounts follow.


     j. Ask for local advice on tipping and DON'T if the locals don't, except in USA where it is compulsory .        at 15 - 20% !!


     k. Have a check list for kit.


I'LL PROBABLY THINK OF SOME MORE. CRITICISM AND COMMENT WOULD BE APPRECIATED