SAIGON AGAIN. VIỆT NAM

23rd - 31st Dec 2018

Snow, ice and reindeer in Saigon. What?!

Back in Sài Gòn (Saigon in English, otherwise known, but not often by the locals, as Ho Chi Minh City), Việt Nam (Vietnam in English). Vietnamese is the only Far Eastern language to use Roman script so gives you a fighting chance to learn and speak it. Trouble is it is a five tone language which makes pronunciation and understanding difficult. There are lots of little words, none over 6 letters long, of which many look the same but with different vowel and tonal 'diacritics' or 'glyphs' above and below the letters which completely change the meaning. These little words are put together to make sense, often somewhat different from the words taken individually. For example, the word(s) for 'lavatory' is 'nhà vệ sinh'. Where 'nhà' means either 'house', 'room' or 'home', 'sinh' by itself means 'birth' but 'vệ sinh' put together means 'hygiene'. So, literally, 'nhà vệ sinh' means 'hygiene room'. Simple, eh? The language was invented by a French missionary priest to the Vietnamese court, Alexander de Rhodes, in the 17th century and many of the words have a sort of French pronunciation e.g. 'va ly' for 'suitcase' and 'bơ', pronounced 'buerre', for 'butter'. Other words are taken phonetically from a mixture of the many various Indo-Chinese languages spoken in the region before Monsieur de Rhodes got a grip of it.

If you say the word even slightly incorrectly they seem incapable of imagining what you might mean. Neither do they respond to miming. I remember going into a supermarket wanting some chicken (Vietnamese 'gà'). I said what I thought was 'gà' but they kept pointing me towards the railway station nearby (Vietnamese 'ga') and even kindly offered to take me there. I tried doing my brilliant impression of a chicken, clucking and flapping my wings etc., ever more maniacally (Basil Fawlty style) to no avail.  They just thought I was mad and had a good laugh; even bringing their colleagues along to watch. I had to get my dictionary out to write down the correct word and then they understood straight away. The Vietnamese would be no good at charades ("why you no just say" would be their reaction). Lateral thinking and imagination are not part of their make-up.
I will use English spelling from now on! 

Left: A lady selling souvenirs on the street. She got to know The Rat with suitable hat; 'chuột' in Vietnamese, but pronounced wrongly could possibly mean 'pregnant'. You try to speak Vietnamese at your peril.

I met an English speaking local over Christmas and she, having no real understanding of what Christmas is, apart from a bit of fun and wearing reindeer horns, asked me to explain. Have you ever tried? Attempting to explain the birth of J Christ together with all the other accoutrements involved left me more confused than before I started. How did the year '0' come about for a start? In those days I think they used the Julian calendar, amongst others, which started in Roman times well before Christ's era. Then came the Gregorian calendar invented by Pope Gregory 111 in 1582. I am confused as to how they worked out from which calendar the year '0' occurred, especially as no substantiated dates are mentioned or can be verified in the Bible (not that I've read much of it). It is all, I am sure, total myth and religious invention as far as dates are concerned. Also, on the 'Pagan' side, the festival probably started with St Nicholas who was a 4th century Greek and, supposedly, rode a white horse. St Nicholas' Day was on the 6th December (my birthday as it happens). He became known as Santa Claus at the behest of the Americans in 1850. Not to be confused with Father Christmas who was an English invention in the 15th century. I believe the Roman Catholic Church unilaterally decided on the 25th of December as Mr Christ's birthday for no logical reason, and St Nicholas' Day was moved to combine the two 'festivals'. As someone pointed out; it is most unlikely that shepherds would be 'tending their flocks by night' in December even in the Middle East. How logically to include Wise Men on camels following a star, Christmas trees, reindeer, one-horse open sleighs, holly, tinsel, mistletoe, virgin births, Santa's little elves and his workshop at the North Pole delivering presents by airborne sledge (with no instrumentation) down everyone's chimneys in one night and the rest, was beyond my powers of imagination. I spent 10 minutes fruitlessly trying to describe a 'manger'. After this I think she was under the impression that Jesus was born in a bucket. I did not pursue the 'virgin birth' bit as I suspect she would have regarded this as a perfect wheeze to excuse an unfaithful wife.
I gave up. It would be much easier to describe the rules of cricket...so I asked her if she would be more interested in learning about that.
Anyway, Christmas as we all know has really now become predominantly a mega-commercial greedy spending spree and an excuse for a long holiday, parties and eating and drinking too much with the resulting ill health, hangovers, debt and family arguments.
Of course the Americans are behind most of this commercial onslaught (they are brilliant at it). They, and we (or more precisely shops) happily go along with it, have now grossly commercialised Valentine's Day, Easter (just a church service and doing things with hard-boiled chicken's eggs in my youth), Fathers' Day, Mothers' Day, Independence Day, Halloween (what's all this 'trick or treat' nonsense) and probably several others. Not content with these they then invented 'Black Friday' and even "Cyber Monday' (whatever that is) further to persuade us to buy things we don't need and didn't even realise we wanted. Isn't it all such FUN!.....and expensive.

One of my favourite night spots in Saigon is the 'Saigon Saigon' rooftop bar in the Caravelle Hotel on Lam Son Square (opposite the Opera House). In the US war days it used to be the favoured haunt of American journalists with photos on the walls to prove it. Every night it features, and has done for years, a marvellous Cuban Salsa band. They are brilliant, involving great music, pretty lady singers/dancers and always manage to get people up onto the dance floor. Apart from me, that is. I sit with a drink and enjoyably spectate.

Right: This poor photo gives an idea but doesn't do it justice.

Left: Back to my old hobby-horse of 'elf 'n safety'. Builders' safety standards are, as far as I can see, purely voluntary. Wear, or not wear, protective gear as you like if you are a construction worker. This guy operating an electric metal cutting saw had sparks and debris flying up at him. No problem; he got the job done. Again, hissy fits all round if this was witnessed in our preciously safety conscious West.





Right: A side-street in Saigon where the ladies get the washing up done. Probably ends up dirtier than when they started.












Left: Entertaining the Rat to lunch on New Year's Eve.

Right: Probably shown this before in previous blogs. What was the Presidential Palace before a famously photographed North Vietnamese T54 tank (No. 843) broke through the gates as the Americans ran away and the North Vietnamese took Saigon. It is now renamed the Independence Palace.







Left: The North Vietnamese T54 tank that crashed through the Palace gates in April 1975. Well the sign says it is. It is displayed in the Palace grounds.










Right: The office of Nguyen Van Thieu, the last President of South Vietnam. The inside of the Palace is now just a museum with all the 'grand' rooms  refurbished and on display. Very glitzy in a somewhat naff fashion.









Left: View down the main easy-west drag, Le Duan, as viewed from the Palace balcony. Expect they had parades down this street before the Vietnam War.

Right: My poor photo of this photo displayed inside the Palace. An interesting story.  The pilot shown here was a North Vietnamese Communist infiltrator in the South Vietnamese airforce. On 8th April 1975 as the North Vietnamese army was closing in on Saigon he seized his chance. He took off in his F5E jet and dropped 2 bombs on the Palace, doing a fair bit of damage, before landing on a North Vietnamese held runway. He became a hero to the North Vietnamese. His name is Nguyen Thanh Trung. He later became a pilot with Vietnam Airlines and known affectionately by all as 'Bomber Trung'. I actually met him several years ago. He seemed a very nice chap and spoke excellent English.

Left: The beautiful main Post Office in Saigon. A popular tourist spot. Again, more photos of the spectacular interior in previous Vietnam blogs. As well as being a lovely building, the service is excellent. Postcards and letters I sent to the UK from here cost about the same as 1st Class mail in UK and arrived within 5 days! Which is more than can be said about the postcards I sent from three different cities in Colombia in November. As far as I am aware absolutely none of them have arrived (yet). Suspect they just peeled the stamps off and resold them. Bloody bandidos!



Right: Notre Dame Cathedral opposite the Post Office. Lit up for Christmas.


















Left: New Year's Eve and the Saigon inhabitants crowd the streets to celebrate. The city centre is packed and anyone trying to get in, or out, by vehicle, even scooter, is wasting their time. Fortunately my accommodation was within walking, barging, distance.
Left:  Lam Son Square beginning to fill up before the midnight fireworks display. The prime viewpoints along the river and on the bridge were filled to capacity much earlier.





Right: Spectators on the steps of the Opera House.













Left: It was a pretty spectacular display and lasted about 20 minutes. Probably not quite up to the standard of the London one, but at least it didn't include a poxy fireworky EU flag! I took a decent video of this but don't think videos work on this blog.  I, along with several hundred others only saw the bit between buildings

Right: Just tried copying a video but I don't think it works. Experiment!














After the display it was time for all to go home. Fortunately I was on foot. Left: The streets were blocked with scooters. Still the same after an hour. I was happily ensconced in a friendly bar.

..and, hopefully, a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR TO MY READER !
but it will probably be the same old crap as previous.