CHREXODUS 2022

7th - 8th Dec 2022

Well, it's time to escape on my annual 'Bah Humbug Chrexodus' and, as far as possible, avoid all the hassle and commercial exploitation of the sordid 'Festive Season' in the Western World!

So, off on a well-trodden path to the lovely country of Việt Nam. OK, you can't even avoid it here. As I write this I am sitting in a pleasantly warm outside café in the centre of Saigon with a glass of beer and goddamn 'We wiss yu a Melly Clissmas' playing loudly on speakers in the backgound plus lovely waitresses wearing reindeer horn headdress. I mean, they have absolutely zilch idea of what 'Clissmas' is, except it's an opportunity to sell things to tourists like me! You try to explain the connection between 'Jinger Bells', Snow (which none of them have even seen, likewise reindeer), 'One Horse Open Sleighs', Father Clissmas, Wise Men with camels and babies born in mangers and you soon find yourself floundering.

I had booked a flight with (to me) a previously unknown airline called 'Bamboo Airways'. I had done some research and found flights with major airlines to Ho Chi Minh (Saigon) had doubled in price since I last visited in 2019 (I think). 'Bamboo' were advertising prices considerably cheaper and easy to book, so I did. 

The flight was due to depart London Gatwick Airport (or Gatport Airwick as it is sometimes known) at 10.35am on 7th December. After a night endured at the local Gatwick Travelodge I arrived, as is my habit, with plenty of time to spare. I found the 'No.1' VIP lounge in departures which, at a 'reduced' cost of £25 offered unlimited time for breakfast, food and drinks. I splashed out (a Clissmas plesant to myself) and actually much enjoyed the facilities. They provide a great 'traditional English' breakfast, other food and as much drink of whatever variety you wish. As always, I made sure I got my money's worth. (nota bene 'apostrophe tsar' Bernie!).

I was informed at the boarding gate that this was 'Bamboo's' inaugural flight from UK to Vietnam and was given a complimentary decorated biscuit to mark the occasion. The flight boarded on time and the aircraft was a spanking new wide-bodied Boeing 787-9 'Dreamliner'. It has a capacity of 280 passengers and there was not a seat unfilled! It was just as well I had booked early. The passengers consisted of about 50/50 western tourists and Vietnamese (I presume). I, of course, was in the tourist class seating (they had a very expensive business/1st class of which I have no experience nowadays).

Right: My complimentary biscuit from Bamboo Airways. I will treasure it.

Amongst the 4 flight-deck crew was a British Captain. The cabin-crew were delightful and attractive Vietnamese. They wore face-masks, sadly! Talking of which, I was worried that we passengers might be forced to wear the hideous and useless blasted things. We were not, and I only noticed 2 'TIMs' on board (see a previous blog for what they are).

It was to be a 12.5 hour flight. I hoped they had filled up with plenty of petrol! It was a pleasant enough flight and we were well attended to by the delightful and charming cabin crew (kneeling down to serve you). There were no fat super-annuated old bats as employed by some of the more 'established' airlines. If some of those had knelt down to serve you they probably wouldn't have been able to get up again. The lunch, supper and breakfast meals provided were very decent by tourist class standards. The seatback video machines were easy to operate and had a wide variety of things to watch and listen to, plus a good 'air-map' of where we were at any time. My only complaint was that they ran out of beer and wine after about 5 hours! I was not entirely responsible for this.

Left: The route. We passed just south of Mt. Everest, to the nose of the aircraft in the photo. It was dark and I had no vision outside as I was sitting in a centre section aisle seat. I think the distance we flew between London and Saigon was about 6,500 miles at an altitude of 33,000 ft. Click on to enlarge.

We landed at Tan Son Nhat (Saigon) airport at about 6.00am local time, hassle free through passport control and with no baggage checks. I always find it interesting that all the staff here, and they look smart, are Vietnamese. If you arrive at any airport in Britain you would be forgiven for wondering, seeing the scruffy staff (if they are not on strike), which country you are in. We are 'diverse'; they are not, which is a whole different story.

Taxi to my hotel, the Hotel Thiện Hải in the centre, District 1. A bargain at about £20 per night. I last stayed here in 2019 and was greeted like returning Royalty! They have amazing memories. I must have done something to impress them; probably my efforts to speak Vietnamese which always causes amusement, if not comprehension. Anyway, it is a very comfortable and friendly place and if any of you end up in Saigon I strongly recommend it. Forget the lavish 5 star jobs. Talking of taxis, and if you read my previous blogs you will realise my antipathy towards taxis! Fortunately I know the ropes here. Greeted by 'cowboys' at arrivals where they tried to rip me off with quotes of 350,000 Dong (about £12) to District 1. I knew to use the metered Vinasun brand and found one at the end of the line. It cost 150,000 Dong (£5) to the front door of the hotel. The driver was also a cheery chap who appeared amused by my futile efforts to chat in the local lingo.

I spent the day firstly by having a good kip, visited a couple of coffee shops (they all have good WiFi) then to supper at a great bar/restaurant called The Refinery on Hai Ba Trung St (Two Old Ladies St. There is a story to that). It's origins were as an opium refinery and den in the 19th century. When I was last here it was owned and run by a French lady ex-pat, the wife of an English friend of mine. It is popular with the ex-pat community.

Then on to the swish Caravelle Hotel in the main Lam Son Square. This was a famous watering hole for press and reporters during the 'American' war (as they refer to it here) up to 1975. It has an elegant roof-top cocktail bar on the 9th floor. They normally have a good band playing, and that night it was, as often, a Cuban salsa outfit. Great stuff, and I treated myself to a dry martini and watched. Lots of people got up to dance (right); of course I didn't. It is a lovely bar and  wasn't even that expensive.

Left. The view from the bar down to Lam Son Square. The buildings, many of  French colonial style, are all beautifully lit up. In the foreground is the Grand Opera House, and behind it the Continental Hotel. Very expensive. The author Graham Greene used to have a suite there. This author could never afford to stay there!

Right: The Opera House. Currently doing The Nutcracker.

Left: The City Hall.

Right: A typical street-side Vietnamese restaurant. They serve delicious and remarkably cheap food. My sort of place. 

That will do for now. I have no great plans but intend to travel around a bit. Most of the places I will visit have already been covered in previous blogs so maybe there will be a lack of repeat 'reporting' from them. I just intend to enjoy a non-Christmas holiday. 

PS. The concept of people going 'on strike' in this country is unthinkable. They value being employed whether as a street cleaner or a businessman. If they have no job they invent one. As an example, I have just had my shoes cleaned by a street urchin and 'friend' (organised gang probably). They not only polished them they put on much needed new heels. It cost me the equivalent of £3. They were happy, as was I. Good luck to them. The likes of that bolshy trades unionist 'leader' Mick Grynch would get laughed off the streets here!