CHREXIT 24

 21st Dec 2024 (Sahagun Day!)

So, back in Vietnam to avoid the 'Festive' Season in UK. Bah humbug again! I don't intend to do much 'blogging' from here this time as I have already bored my long suffering reader to death with many previous reports and photos from this lovely country.

I flew here, 'cattle class' of course, with Air India from London Heathrow via a transfer (with a 10 hour hold-over!) in Delhi. The flights themselves were fine; not too much queueing at Heathrow, smack on time and with decent cabin service albeit on the 8 hour leg from Heathrow I was sitting in a centre seat at the very rear of the aircraft sandwiched between two perfectly polite but rather large Indian gentlemen. We were the last seats to be served any rations and the plane, an Airbus 350, was packed full. There was a very decent 'entertainments' console in front of you and an unlimited supply of complementary drinks which helped to pass the time. BUT I was subjected to a very infuriating occurrence. I will, if only to get it off my chest, regale you (and probably stupify you) with a background story. As you can tell I have time on my hands at the moment sitting in a lovely rooftop café in Saigon!

In early 2013 I was living in a small flat in London. One day my CD player packed up (for those not as elderly as me, a CD player is an electronic contraption which plays musical discs). I took it to a charming and efficient Indian electronics mender, Ali, whom I had used previously. He rang me up two days later to tell me he had fixed it. He then asked me "do you smoke?". I thought this was rather an impertinent and irrelevant question and said so, but admitted that I did smoke, about 15 a day, mainly in the evenings. What other personal habits was he going to investigate I wondered. "Ahaaa", he said, no doubt with a little wobble of the head, "that explains it. The lenses in your CD player were covered in tar from cigarette smoke and I cleaned them. That was the problem and I fixed it". That gave me cause to think, and act. I took a white kitchen towel and wiped all the glass surfaces in my front room, ie. pictures, windows, TV screen etc. The towel became covered with sticky black/brown gunge! Indeed the picture quality on the TV was much improved as a result. I presumed that this gluey tar was also in all the seat covers, curtains, carpets and, more significantly, in my lungs! I gave up smoking that day and haven't touched a cigarette since, thanks to Ali.

I found I did miss the occasional relaxing puff on a fag and started nibbling too many snacks and became somewhat irritable. I suppose I had become a bit of a nicotine addict and smoking had become a habit. About a year later I discovered e-cigarettes. After  much experimentation I found a device and a vape liquid (I tried many, some of  them tasted revolting) which I liked. Puffing this entirely replaced the yearning for a cigarette. More significantly the vapour, which did have nicotine content, did not contain any tar or other 'solids' as in smoke. As an experiment I inhaled this vapour through a white tissue and there was absolutey no residue. Secondly, the cost. A packet of cigarettes costs nowadays anything between £15 -£18, so if you smoke 20 a day it woud set you back about £500 per month! I paid about £25 for my e-ciggy and buy the juice from a Poundland shop in little plastic bottles for £1 each. Each 10ml bottle will last me 3 days (total £10 per month), so an enormous financial saving. Thirdly, I wake up in the mornings free from the previous coughing and spluttering to rid my lungs of the gunge from smoking. I have, as far as I am aware, suffered no ill effects from vaping which I have now done for over 10 years and find it very relaxing. Fourthly, significantly, the vapour (stating the obvious perhaps) evaporates. I once shared a small sleeper compartment with three friends and asked them if they minded if I did a bit of vaping and to tell me if it irritated them. They said they never even noticed any smell, or indeed anything. Sure, if you blow the vapour into someones face at close range they will smell it, but over a couple of feet the smell and vapour just vanishes. I have taken my trusty e-cigarette with me on all my many travels, including by air, and never encountered any problems. I put my e-cig in the 'liquid bags' going through airports' security and never had anyone comment let alone object. Yes, I am now a happy vaping addict, but as far as I can see it does not do me, nor anyone else, any harm. So why am I telling you all this?

Well! On arrival in foggy Delhi (much polution which is probably equally as unhealthy as tobacco smoke) I had to go through 'transit' to the gate for the onward flight to Ho Chi Minh City with Air India again. There was a security check (why? I was in transit) with the normal X-ray machines to negotiate. I was the only passenger there. The rather officious security wallah made me take out all my electric items, including the plugs, leads and even my electric toothbrush....and I had quite a lot of similar items scattered in my cabin bag and backpack. I thought I was bound to lose something vital here. I asked about liquids and he said he wasn't interested in those. Several trays then went into the X-ray machine and he suddenly shouted "you have an e-cigarette?". I said "yes, it's in my liquids bag". "You cannot take this on aircraft" he snapped. "Why not" I asked reasonably, I thought, as it had come here checked in on an Air India flight. "No, you cannot, it is not allowed. I take and put in bin". I was somewhat cross at this unexpected problem. I could not get him to explain why e-cigarettes are banned on Indian flights. "It is the rule" was all I could get out of him. I was, to say the least, somewhat angry and pissed-off but there was no arguing unless I risked being arrested! Before he put in his bin, and with his permission, I smashed it so nobody else could benefit from this theft. Disaster, for a keen vaping addict; I had lost my e-ciggy after having it problem free it for several years. I have yet to find out the reason for this ridiculous regulation in India. As it happens, I have been referred to a small paragraph hidden in a long e-mail listing the normal prohibited items (ie. firearms, knives, explosive devices and nuclear weapons) from Air India that mentions the ban on e-cigarettes but I hadn't noticed it of course. As a matter of interest they also confiscated a very small pair of nail-scissors which I had been able to take on other flights because they were less than 2 inches long and had  specifically rounded and blunted points to allow (previously) carriage on aircraft. Hardly a threat to life or limb. As you can imagine I was by now not a very happy passenger and not a great supporter of Air India. I am waiting, eagerly for once, for the inevitable airline 'survey' for me to complete. 

On getting to the very elegant departures hall I had intended to pay for and use one of the VIP lounges (I've done this before elsewhere and found them excellent value for long hold-overs) as I had, by now, an 8 hour wait for my ongoing flight. There are two of these lounges and I was told you could pay ($45 or equivalent) but only for a two hour period, then you had to leave and pay again to get back in. Bollocks to that! I then found a comfortable seat in a pleasant Irish Bar called 'The Irish House' which had 'free' WiFi but only if you had an Indian telephone number to register. Fortunately, sitting near me was a charming and helpful Russian chap who, working in Delhi, had an Indian telephone number, so he logged me on.

I noticed that there was a very large and quite comfortable 'smoking area' in the vicinity. There may have been more. It was well populated by enthusiastic smokers (not vapers obviously). I begin to wonder why smoking is allowed (and cigarettes feature prominently in the Duty Free shops) but vaping is demonised. My cynical view is that it is all about money (as always). Governments take a lot of tax on tobacco but seemingly don't or can't on vapes. It pays them to encourage smokers.

We arrived in Ho Chi Minh at 7.45 (Local), 15 minutes early. Unfortunately there was a vast horde with interminable queues packing the passport control hall at Arrivals. I was at the back and it looked as if it would take, literally, hours to get through. I adopted my tried and trusted procedure which involves walking around the outside of the queues and then just inserting myself near the front. Waving to an imaginary friend or family helps. It works! People, being somewhat passive and not wishing to cause a fuss,  don't seem to notice or care. 

I got to my small hotel by taxi at about 10.00pm, a charming and comfortable place called Thien Hai which I have used frequently before. It is well located in the centre of Town. The Vietnamese have good memories and I was greeted like a friend of the family! This small hotel has all mod-cons including a vast TV in the room which actually shows BBC World News (amongst 200 other channels) just to irritate me, charming staff and includes a delicious breakfast. Cost? £21 per night! You could never find such an amazing bargain in any country in the West. Indeed all hospitality in the many excellent hotels, bars and restaurants is above and beyong anything we put up with in UK. There are always plenty of enthusiastic smartly turned-out staff who seem to take great pleasure in serving customers well. They are all ethnic Vietnamese and proud of it.....no DEI crap here. 

I mentioned I used a taxi from the airport. As readers of my previous blogs may be aware, I am normally allergic to rip-off taxis, and there are many such in Ho Chi Minh. Outside arrivals at the airport, there are scores of taxis and many touts (either official or unofficial) trying to get your trade....and indeed rip you off. There are buses to the city centre but I wasn't prepared to hang about for one of those at this time of night. If you ever visit this airport I can give you a taxi tip. On exiting the arrivals hall, disregard all the touts and queues. Walk past all and go left to the far (back) end of the lines of taxis. There are two 'honest' taxi companies to use; Vinasun and Mailin. Find one of those and ask for a rough estimate of cost saying (phonetically) "chi phi la bao new" which helps to avoid any misunderstanding. The 5 mile journey through heavy traffic (a new, increasingly unpleasant feature in this city) cost me, on a trustworthy meter, £5 equiv. Using a tout or other taxi may cost you four times as much.

There are several vape shops in the city, at the moment. The next day I found one nearby and was sold a perfectly adequate replacement e-ciggy (but not as good as my stolen one) by the helpful chap behind the counter. He spoke good English and sympathised with my experience with Air India. Fortunately I still had my supply of my favourite vape juice. I'm surprised and relieved that that wasn't confiscated as well. Interestingly he told me that the Viet Government intended to ban vape shops, if not vaping entirely, but certainly not tobacco outlets. He agreed with my premise that Governments benefit enormously from tax on cigarettes and vaping merely impacts unfavourably on that. So much for caring about health issues! I think the same can be said of most hypocritical Governments...it's the money that matters

That will do for the time being....if you have bothered to read all this I hope it didn't cause drooping eyelids.