Friday 15 December 2017

CHREXIT - 2017

30th Nov 2017 - 4th Dec 2018


Ho Ho Ho and a bottle of.....!
Well, the 'Festive' season is upon us and I'm off to anywhere with limited renderings of 'Rudolph the Blasted Red Nosed Reindeer', 'Frarsty the Snowman' and all the irritating 'Ding Dong Merrily' stuff. It is impossible to avoid it altogether except perhaps at the North and South Poles and, I happen to know, North Korea (one of its major selling points). So, initially to Thailand then back to good old Vietnam.
Of course even in these, essentially non-Christian, places lip service is paid to Christmas; its good for business with western tourists after all. Big hotels and shops in places like Bangkok and Saigon display Christmas trees plus lots of polystyrene snow with reindeer towing sleighs, 'Santa Clauses' and a few Jingle Bells etc., but the locals don't take it seriously. Naturally, few of them have ever experienced snow, or the chaos which goes with it (as though it were unexpected) in countries like UK where, as per when the temperature rises above 30Âșc, Nanny State issues dire warnings about not venturing outside unless absolutely necessary and none of trains seem able to cope. It's pathetic.

First, by GulfAir via Bahrain to Bangkok for a few days. I quite enjoy Bangkok in limited quantities. A vibrant city, still happily choking to death on fumes from the jam-packed traffic with plenty to see and do and a shopper's paradise. Apart from the 'restrained and tasteful' Patpong area of Silom where, amongst all the packed stalls selling 'genuine' Rolex watches and Gucci handbags, there are elegant bars and clubs in which charming and very friendly young ladies perform interesting and innovative dances, there are pleasant parks to wander, decent restaurants, glitzy hotels plus many interesting temples and palaces, if you are into that sort of thing. The universal Tuk-Tuks still patrol the streets, but they have been neutered. The engines have been changed from those smoky old things which made the characteristic 'tuk-tuk' noise and are now more 'eco-friendly' with cleaner engines and make hardly any noise at all. They should reinstate the noise please!
From the universal Cuban salutation of 'tacsee saynyor' I now had to get used to the traditional Thai greeting of 'yoowan massaah'.

I was last in this city a year ago. As I remarked then and confirm now, the shape and size of the average Thai is changing. They are getting fat; something that was unknown 20 years ago. Of course this is directly attributable to the inexorable spread of (mostly American) fast food outlets, and possibly not helped by the internet. Street-side stalls selling healthy local food still exist but there is an increasing number of Burger Kings, Kentucky Fried Chickens, Starbucks and, of course, the dreaded MacDonalds. I expect, because the Asian metabolism does not cope so well with sugar, fat and alcohol (two drinks and they are under the table), there is a corresponding increase in diabetes. I don't suppose MacDonalds would care to sponsor research in that direction!

I used to frequent an amusing Irish Bar, Murphy's, at the top end of Silom Road. They did a good breakfast apart from anything else. I went there on the first morning for a reviving plate of bacon and eggs. It was closed; in fact it was behind a corrugated iron fence and was being pulled down. What a blow! I expect it is being replaced by a Yankee junk-food outlet.

One of the places I enjoy visiting here, as I did last year (with photos on blog if you are interested), is the Chatuchak Weekend Market in the north of the city. To travel around the city is easy due to the excellent, cheap and very modern Metro system. There is an interconnecting Skytrain (BTS) and Underground (MRT) and one of the northern stations is Chatuchak.

Left: On the trains there is a useful illuminated route diagram which shows you exactly where you are and where you are going labelled in both Thai and English. No silly unnecessary announcements, as per the London Underground, just a lady's voice telling you what the next stop is in both Thai and good English. It is quiet and efficient. The only thing to be aware of are the entry/exit turnstiles  onto the platforms. You buy a token, or card, and insert it or scan it as per most turnstiles but you have to be quick. Any delay passing through and the waist-level barrier slams shut on you, sometimes with painful ball-crushing consequences. Don't even try to take a suitcase through. You are left one side and your case the other. There are, however, always polite and helpful staff on hand to help (you should use a gate at one end for baggage) and even offer sympathetic words, if not assistance, as you massage your injured parts.

Chatuchak Market is, I find, a most intriguing place and covers a big area. There are several ranks of covered lines of stalls over an area about 1km long and 500m wide. You need to by a map which shows what, in general, is on sale where, but you will still get disorientated and lost. There is everything from antiques to electronic gismos via tons of clothing and pots and pans; anything you can think of really, and more. It is popular and crowded so you move along the little alleyways in enforced slow time. There are regular massage boutiques and lots of food and drink outlets. One of the nice things here, unlike several outdoor markets, is that the stall-holders don't pester you to buy things. You can browse in peace and prepare for some serious haggling. Good bargains to be had. I bought a pair of shorts and a hat. More about them later.


One of the most popular food bars was this one (right) where a Spanish chef performed non-stop production of these vast colourful paellas. It was not just cooking, it was indeed a performance! He played to the crowd, throwing vegetables and things into the pans from over his shoulder, and over seated customers who happily caught the occasional raw prawn or clove of garlic. Salt and seasoning was thrown into the air and went everywhere, including onto the paellas. He posed for photos with giggling tourists and did impressive conjuring  tricks with disappearing handkerchiefs.

It was all most amusing. He is obviously a bit of a character and great showman and did it all with a most infectious smile. He had two boards which he occasionally held up. This one (left) and another with his caricature portrait on. Us tourists loved it. He was not averse to putting his arms around a pretty female spectator and having his photo taken by the willing victim's friends. He would probably be arrested for 'inappropriate  behaviour' if he did that in UK as well as breaking numerous 'elf 'n safety' food regulations.
I've never seen a happier looking chef. He may have an unhappy home life for all I know. As it happened I wasn't particularly hungry and didn't try the delicious looking paella. Just watched.

I spent four days in Bangkok staying at a very smart and comfortable hotel, the Narai, on Silom Road. I managed this due to a 'good deal' which offered a jolly nice room for £30 per night. Entertainment in the bar there consisted of a Thai guitarist who performed Country & Western songs. He was actually very good and seemed to have a remarkably extensive repertoire. Asking customers for requests, he was rarely caught out. He had, as he told me, been doing this for over 30 years!
Otherwise I just wandered around and seeing more sights and probably eating too much.

Off next to the southern resort island of Phuket. Never been there before, but had been given a recommendation for a place to stay, just north of the island on the west coast near the town of Kokkoy (not mentioned in my Lonely Planet). It is owned by an old lady Thai aquaintance of my friend and is, according to him, delightfully peaceful and charming. A place to relax away from the hurly-burly of  modern life and Christmas excess.

Bah Humbug!


No comments:

Post a Comment