BOOZE CRUISE AND WILDLIFE. ZAMBIA

 6th -7th Jan 2021

Next on the agenda was a 'Sunset Cruise' around a large island in the middle of the river. There are several, one of which is called Livingstone Island. Forgotten what this one was called but inhabited only by various four-legged creatures which provide the rations for the crocodiles. 

We boarded the good ship Lollipop (left) and set sail at 4.30pm. On the lower deck was a substantial and very well stocked bar.

Right: Our driver, Elstone, provided a running commentary on the wildlife we observed. He is very knowledgeable. He should be, he has been doing this for 12 years.

There were 5 of us on the top deck. Myself plus two other Brits and two Americans based in Zimbabwe where they run some charity or other. There was another small group downstairs.

We were served unlimited quantities of drink from a large selection by an attentive 'steward'. I think I definitely got my money's worth. I made every effort to do so.

There was not that much wildlife to observe. The crocs and hippos kept themselves mostly underwater so no great photos of a croc dragging a squealing antelope into the water, or a hippo out of the water. The hippo (right) was the best I saw. They make snorting rumbling noises and stay semi-submerged for most of the day as their skins are sensitive to the sun. They can stay submerged for about 5 minutes and tend to walk along the river bed. They emerge after dark to graze. They only eat grass. Or is it fish? It must be a boring life being a hippo. The only excitement they get is when they charge and chomp an errant human. So I suppose they look forward to that.

Right: A very poor photo of a very large croc. We all know what they eat...basically anything that wanders too close to the water's edge. They can stay underwater for up to 2 hours. If they eat a large meal they won't need another for two years due to their very slow digestive system.

There were lots of different types of birds such as cormorants, herons, storks and many other exotic river dwelling species. Elstone was expert at naming them all but frankly, I am not an enthusiastic bird watcher. I subscribe to the 'Geordie Book of Bords'. This ornithological masterpiece only recognises three types of 'bord'. 'Spuggies' (little birds), 'Craws' (black ones like crows) and 'Shitehawks' (anything else). 

Above: Weaver bird nests. They construct these intricate little pods hanging from branches. They make many more than they need, so lots of empty ones to confuse predators. 

We passed other 'Evening Cruisers'. This one (right) is owned by one of the local Paramount Chiefs called Chief Mbuti (or similar). These chiefs are important people and mostly incredibly wealthy. This one was thumping out pop music and the passengers were having a bit of a rave.

We were served a delicious buffet meal downstairs, and got back as the sun was setting (see top). Not a bad way to spend the afternoon and evening.

The next day I went on a Game Drive in the local and relatively small game park. The last time I was in this part of the world I went over to Botswana for the day where there is much more game. Not easy now because you need one of those useless, expensive 'Covid Negative' certificates. All the elephants migrate to Botswana at this time of year (the wet season) and there are no lions in this park. It is too small and there would be carnage amongst the other resident creatures.

There were four of us on the drive in a very upmarket open sided vehicle plus our driver/guide Gregory. He was most knowledgeable, as you would expect, and had a great sense of humour. The other three passengers (right, Gregory on the right) were staying at the Royal Livingstone Hotel, so must have been quite well-heeled. They were American/Italians and good company. They were also 'covid' face-mask enthusiasts. They never, for one moment, removed their masks even though we were in the great outdoors. I find it strange that so many people actually want to wear these dreadful things everywhere. They are uncomfortable, dehumanising and, in my opinion, relatively useless (try the vapour test!). It seems, sadly, that many people now consider them a normal form of dress....like underwear! And just as unhygienic if you don't change them regularly.

We saw lots of Impala (left).

Several troops of ghastly Baboons (right).

A few Wildebeest, or is it a Gnu, or a Hartebeest, or a cow? (left).

Right: There were many striped donkeys.

Left: More Impala.

Right: A small herd of the rare 'legless' Buffalo.

Left: A shitehawk (and many other 'bords')

Right: A smallish crocodile asleep down by the river.

We had to get out and walk at one point. This was to see a small herd of 8 Southern White Rhino. They are called 'White' from the Afrikaans word 'weit' which means 'wide' and refers to their wide mouths, as opposed to the Black Rhino which has a narrow mouth. They are an endangered species but with larger herds in South Africa. The Northern White Rhino is now extinct. 

They are protected around the clock in this park by armed guards. Four of whom had to accompany us. We found them (the Rhino I mean) near a mudbath in which the senior male was having a marvellous time sploshing about.

Left: More sodding Impala. They are most certainly not endangered. I don't know much about them except they are good at jumping (to avoid lions).

We were told that there are Giraffe in the park, but we never saw any. Maybe they have also gone to Botswana, or were just keeping their heads down.

I have come to the conclusion that I am useless at photographing wildlife. They keep moving. If you do see a good shot, by the time you get your camera aimed and focused they have buggered off. It is a specialist subject and requires much patience, which I lack.

So that is my nature lesson from Livingstone. Eat yer heart out David Attenborough!