GONE BANANAS AGAIN. ZAMBIA

 20th - 26th Dec 2020

Back on Battledore Farm, about 20 miles west of Ndola up in the Copper Belt. I have written extensively about this place in blogs dating from December 2013 to January 2014, so don't intend to repeat all that detail. You can click-on to those past blogs if interested. Not much has changed in essence during the past 7 years although the farm has grown somewhat. It now covers 750 acres with about 180,000 banana plants, about the same number of gum trees (planted 10 years ago and now reaching maturity) and 9,000 citrous (orange) trees.

This area, as mentioned 7 years ago, is almost completely devoid of wildlife. It was all eaten a long time ago. However the domestic menagerie has increased. When last here I winessed the arrival of Rommel, the Rhodesian Ridgeback. He now has two comrades, Montgomery and Harry. Difficult to herd, they are pictured here with two of the current farm assistants, Andrew (left) and George. Franky I can't tell the difference between the Ridgebacks except that only Harry is allowed into the house.

There is also a Jack Russell terrier, Mrs Perkins, and a Border Terrier, Partridge, who recently gave birth to 4 puppies. One puppy, Porridge, remains on the farm. There is also a black and white cat which has no name as far as I am aware, which hides in cupboards and pees all over the place. It gets regularly thrown out of the house (when found peeing in a cupboard). I'm surprised it hasn't been eaten by the Ridgebacks by now. Actually the Ridgebacks look fierce and scare the locals (that is the idea!) but are incredibly soft and soppy. They run away from the cat. Harry is terrified of Porridge.

Left: Partridge and Porridge.

Right: Harry cowering behind a bin, hiding from Porridge.

There are some big thunderstorms here. Harry is terrified by the thunder and sits shaking with fear. Harry wears ear-defenders. Harry is a complete wimp.

Right: Mrs Perkins who is a pleasant and well behaved dog.

That sums up the domestic menagerie. No photo of the damned cat.

With Christmas approaching we planned a lunch party for 25. Left: The rather dismal, and only, effort at Christmas decorations. 7 years ago they were banned completely by mutual agreement. Standards are slipping.

The farmhouse here has been undergoing major extension works and up to two days before this party it was like living on a building site. Last minute efforts got things relatively shipshape. Hard work by all the staff was required, but it paid off.

Right: The Merry Lunchtime gathering. Gallons of champagne and wine were drunk and I can't remember when it ended, but it was dark and several participants were a bit the worse for wear. Most of those present are ex-pat farmers, some of whom had been kicked off their previous farms in Zimbabwe. Several had driven 200km from the Mkushi area which is mid-country and a big farming area. People here are prepared to drive long distances for a spot of entertainment No tiers hier!

Left: A street in the local village. All very basic. Many of the residents work on the farm.

Right: ....and a typical local house. No running water and no electricity, but swept clean around the dusty outside area. Makes us Westerners appear rather spoilt! Maybe the owner has a Lamborghini parked round the back and a second home in Gstaad?

Left: The local school. The pupils have to walk to another school 5 miles away to take exams. I had taken Harry with me on this not very long walk. Big mistake! He gave up the ghost and lay down in the shade of a tree here for 20 minutes before deigning to raise his idle arse. Not only is Harry a complete wimp he is also incredibly unfit. It gave me the chance to speak to one of the teachers who spoke excellent English and was very charming. 

Right: The farmhouse residents in what then resembled a building site. Martin (with Mrs Perkins), Andrew, Calo (visiting), George and Bwana Banana (seated), plus Partridge's puppies.

George produced a loud music device which produced this alarming display of dancing! (below)....if it works.

As mentioned, I don't intend to produce another blog showing all on the farm. Done that Dec/Jan 13/14 if you are interested. I don't know how long I will be here...either until my generous host's patience runs out, or I find another 'covid-lite' country, or until UK becomes habitable. It may be some time. Toot Toot and a Happy New Year to my reader (didn't we say that last year!)