Sunday, 19 February 2012

INLE LAKE - BURMA

4th - 6th Feb 2012

Fisherman on Inle Lake
Off we set at 0730hrs, Mr Myo driving with his son as co-pilot, for what was advertised as an 8 hour drive to the small town of Nyaungshwe, 2000ft up, at the north end of Inle Lake. I was told it was about 150 miles, so couldn't see how it was going to take 8 hours. The road south out of Mandalay was an excellent two lane highway and Mr Myo's Toyota fairly hummed along. I reckoned, at this rate, we would be there for an early lunch. After about 20 miles we turned left off the main road to the east. The road rapidly deteriorated, initially into a narrow potholed tarmac strip and then into a single lane dusty bumpy mountain track ( with the occasional bit of tarmac just to give the appearance of a road ).  And we climbed....and climbed... around zig-zagging sharp bends up into the Shan mountains. The average speed must have reduced to about 20 mph. I could now see at least eight hours of driving ahead of us. To further delay matters, it turned out that Mr Myo's son was very car sick and we had to keep stopping to let him out to throw up. After 3 hours we began to level out at about 5000ft ( according to the map ). Then the car ground to a halt with steam coming from the bonnet. It was discovered that the fan belt had snapped. We were in the middle of nowhere, not a car or building in sight and stuck. Mr Myo was beside himself with remorse and apologies. By sheer good fortune after about 20 minutes a minibus pulled up and, having a couple of spare seats, kindly offered to take myself and Mr Myo's son on to the nearest habitation. Not much room inside so I reluctantly disregarded the old army maxim of 'a soldier and his kit should never be separated', took my small valuables rucksack and left my big suitcase in Mr Myo's car. He promised to deliver it to me in Nyaungshwe, after somehow getting the car fixed. Another 2 hours of driving along the winding and bumpy 'track' brought us to a village with a small restaurant in it. Myself and Mr Myo's son got out. I think we were due to wait here until the car turned up. It didn't. After a good lunch a passing taxi with 3 pax in already ( a monk, a Burmese agricultural fertiliser salesman and a German tour operator ) offered to take me on, free of charge! It was a bit of a squeeze but welcome nevertheless.

We passed this strange looking hilltop monastery ( left ) on the way, and stopped for a 'comfort break' here. They love to build these things on the top of impossibly steep rocks which, I suppose, provided protection in the old days, and freedom from passing tourists. Lots of lugging bricks uphill though.
The roads actually became rather better as we descended the mountains on the southern side and finally reached Nyaungshwe at 1900hrs. An 11.5 hour journey as it turned out and I was not confident of ever seeing my suitcase again. Oh! me of little faith. I was called in my room at 0030hrs to be told that my suitcase had arrived. Mr Myo and his son personally carried it up to my room and again apologised profusely for the inconvenience! He had, apparently waited for a repair service from Mandalay, then driven on for a further 8 hours to Nyaungshwe with his son and my case. He said he was now going straight back to Mandalay! Unbelievable and, if he made it, extraordinary stamina and determination. I was very grateful.
I was met early the next morning by my guide for the day, Mr Min. We walked to the market cum quayside near the hotel and got into one of the many long-tail narrow motorboats with powerful engines. Just as well my suitcase had arrived as I had been warned that it was cold in the mornings and overnight here and my sweater and jacket were in it. It certainly was a bit parky, and misty. We are at 2000ft and it felt it temperature-wise. Right: Mr Min in our speedy water-taxi. Just the two of us plus the driver. Off we set south down the canal to join the lake which is 14 miles long and 7 miles wide. There were many other similar long boats containing tourists. This place is a tourist magnet and is, nowadays, brim full of tourists in the winter season ( Nov to March ). Being light our boat overtook several others along the canal. I waved happily, and rather arrogantly, to them as we sped by. After a mile or so, our engine conked out. No effort would restart it and we drifted to the shore.



Left: Many other boats then swept past giving us a cheerful, if sarcastic, wave. Even the 'finger' in one case. This part of my Burmese trip appears to be fraught with mechanical problems. After about 30 mins a replacement empty boat came alongside and we transferred ship.







Onwards into the tranquil waters of Inle Lake where there are many of these little skiffs ( right ) used for fishing. This is done in a truly unique style with the fisherman perched on one leg at the back and paddling his boat using the other leg twisted around the oar with a curious but most effective snake-like motion. All the while operating the curious double net 'basket' which he lowers into the water. It shows incredible balance and coordination and, indeed, stamina as some were fishing at least 3 miles from the nearest shore!


We even passed a small mini-pagoda in the middle of the lake ( left ) in which a monk sometimes sits to pray for good fishing or maybe just for a bit of aquatic meditation.
The lake was busy with long-boat traffic which was carrying goods and local passengers to and from the various shoreside markets plus, of course, the flotilla of speeding tourist boats. Some of the heavy-laden rice carrying craft were riding so low in the water it seemed they were on the point of sinking.



Right: After about an hour we arrived near the southern end of the lake where there is a village, I think called Thaung Tho ( there are many villages all round the perimeter ), which is mainly constructed on stilts well out into the lake. There are also several large floating islands around here made out of reeds and vegetation on which crops are grown. It reminded me a bit of Lake Titicaca in Peru.






There is a large market here which sold everything from fish to brass taps and timber. Lots of ethnic tribal people come down from the hills to shop. One such people are the Pau-O ( left ). They are noticeable by their black tunics and the bright coloured towels they wear on their heads. There were lots of them.



Mr Min knew many of the locals and we wandered happily around the stalls. At one point I was persuaded to try a drink of the locally produced rice wine which, Mr Min assured me, was of good quality and entirely safe. Indeed he bought a litre plastic bottle of the stuff ( 15 cents ) for his wife which, he said, when consumed made her look much more attractive. The ultimate beauty product. One sip rather took my breath away and made my eyes water. I suspect they use the stuff to power the boats and clean ovens with as well.
Right: Mr Min at the market. He is an avid Arsenal supporter.


We went off on a tour of local workshops and houses all set on stilts in the water. Little skiffs, family affairs and mostly being paddled, were the main means of transport and operated with extraordinary skill by children and old folk alike.
There were more examples of supremely skilful work being done with primitive machinery, all in shops hovering above the water with landing stages for our boats. Weaving fabric was one. I bought a shirt. There was a blacksmith's shop with furnace and hand pumped bellows and three chaps wielding sledge-hammers onto a single piece of red hot metal to make a blade of some description. They were well practiced and their timing was perfectly coordinated to make a non-stop anvil chorus without hitting each others' hammers. It was a good show for the tourists. We also visited a silversmith's workshop which produced minutely intricate silver chains, necklaces, bracelets etc. all done painstakingly by hand. It was fascinating to watch these people at work. They must have incredibly good eyesight and steady hands. There was, unlike India, absolutely no hard sell to buy anything in any of these places.
Lunch was had in another stilt building ( right ). Very good non-spicy food. The little boat passing by is typical of the family transport. They are hardly more than a thick plank with a groove cut down the centre to sit in.









Left: On next to watch the cheroot makers at work. Burmese cheroots are hand made and contain surprisingly little tobacco. The mix which goes into the cheroot consists to a large part of ground aromatic wood of some sort, rolled and sealed in a leaf. They are surprisingly mild and very different to a cigar, or cigarette for that matter. They are also very cheap.

On up the west side of the lake past the extensive floating island 'gardens' on which the Intha ( local tribe ) farmers grow tomatoes, squashes, fruit and other vegetables on wooden trellises . I think the islands are staked to the lake bed to stop them floating away.

Then off west up an incoming river for a few miles which involved shooting a series of small rapids. Skillful boat handling here, and the jungle was closing in on all sides before we popped out into the tranquil village of Indien ( right ). It was reminiscent of that sequence in the film Apocalypse Now, apart from the scores of tourist long-boats waiting there.







By this stage, early afternoon, it was getting very hot! I told Mr Min that I was not so keen to see more temples, so we bypassed the Shwe Inn Thein Paya on the hill above the village. Left: This is it on being bypassed. Much of the complex, built in the 17th century, has become overgrown but many new stupas have been rebuilt. Keeping our shoes firmly on, we headed towards what Mr Min described as a very pleasant little place that sold Burmese wine. I had discovered previously that a German wine expert had established a vineyard on the hillside to the east of the lake and was now producing decent, export quality, red and white wines. The bar/restaurant was back down near the river and was indeed a most picturesque and comfortable place called the Bamboo Bar. The wine was perfectly good too and most welcome. Then back on board and fast downstream to the lake where, on turning north, we called in at a house which produces handicrafts and is staffed by the 'long-necked' women from the Paidaung clan.

Right: These surprisingly adorned ladies have stretched their necks beneath shiny brass rings. This tradition started centuries ago when tigers were a constant danger. It was considered prudent to cover the vulnerable parts of the womenfolk with brass to protect them in the event of being mauled by a tiger. I suppose this then became a fashion. They cannot take the brass rings off, even when sleeping, because otherwise their necks would collapse and they would suffocate. The neck pieces, made of solid brass, weigh a ton! They gave us an example to hold. I suppose one set of rings weighs, at a guess, about 4lb, or 2kg. They said the 'fashion' for this was dying out. How surprising.
Regardless, they seemed very cheerful ladies. I wonder how long they spend polishing each others' necks every morning. I don't suppose they do much swimming either. Diving yes, but not swimming .
I thought, for almost my very first full day so far in Burma, that I had got away without removing my shoes before bedtime. No such luck. Mr Min said I should not miss a visit to the Nga Hpe Kyaung, the Jumping Cat Monastery. We, along with about 50 other boats, pulled in at this fairly nondescript monastery on stilts to view the spectacle, without shoes and socks of course. Apparently, in between meditating, sleeping and eating the monks here got bored and having a profusion of cats about the place decided to teach them to jump through hoops. Well, I suppose with limited outside activities, no alcohol, no women and no TV that is exactly the sort of thing you might expect bored monks to do.


In fact it was a lady who appeared ( the monks were meditating or sleeping I suppose) and put the pussies through their paces before a phalanx of camera toting tourists. I mean, it is not exactly an earth shattering experience to watch a cat leap through a hoop ( not even a flaming one ), but they did and we duly watched. They were encouraged to do this by the lady holding a bit of cat food the other side of the hoop. I suspect their training also included a monk standing behind them with a poised size eleven boot.
It is surprisingly difficult to get a good photo of a leaping cat. They blur easily. I took several before giving up.



So back on board again and we set course for the one hour return trip to Nyaungshwe. It had been a long and interesting day. Mr Min had been an excellent guide with a great sense of humour. Shoes off and on once only!
Right: Back at 'base' the place was fairly full up with the returned long-boats.








Left: We grabbed a conveniently passing taxi back to the hotel. Mr Min went back home to watch Arsenal on TV, and me to wander the town for the rest of the evening. Its a very busy place with lots of watering holes to cater for all types of tourist who almost seem to outnumber the locals.







Right: So its goodnight from me, and goodnight from her. I never asked these girls if it ever gets a bit itchy down their necks and if so what they did to alleviate it. One of them was called Slinky.



Lazy morning tomorrow then, per force, a shortish flight from the local airport, Heho, to the beach on the west coast, the Arakan peninsular.



Friday, 17 February 2012

MANDALAY - BURMA ( part 2 )

3rd - 4th Feb 2012

Ducks' arse
Left: Another workshop, this time weaving cloth. Again primitive equipment, hand looms, and I couldn't fathom out how the damned things worked. The girls operating these consulted some complicated hieroglyphics on what looked like sheet music held on a stand and whizzed the shuttle side to side and pumped the pedals non-stop with their feet. Quite some skill and co-ordination. The end product was an intricately designed length of silk and cotton fabric.




I forgot to mention our driver, the delightful Mr Myo. He was the perfect chauffeur and felt obliged to open and close the car door for me whenever getting in or out. I must look more decrepit than I thought. We went off to visit another couple of ex-royal capitals nearby. Firstly Amarapura, about 7 miles south, Burma's penultimate royal capital before King Mindon moved it to Madalay due to a Buddhist prophesy. It is most renowned for the iconic U Bein's bridge ( right ). This crosses the shallow Taungthaman Lake and is 1.3 miles long. It is the worlds longest teak footbridge. I am getting a little cynical about 'the worlds biggest, longest, shortest etc.'. It is always very specifically qualified. I mean I could claim, with some justification, to be the world's tallest ( English, wearing a cloth cap, carrying a Burmese walking stick, in Mandalay on 3rd Feb 2012 ) man.

We walked about halfway across and past these men, there were six of them, up to their chests in water. I thought they were herding ducks ( of which there were hundreds and didn't, or couldn't,  fly ). They waded in formation around the lake slapping the water as they went. It turned out that they were pulling a fishing net. We watched them for ages being keen to see what they had caught. Not very much, as it happened. Not even a duck....something I noted that the English cricket team had acquired  a lot of in the recent Tests against Pakistan.
It always seemed to be rather misty around Mandalay.



After this it was to another monastery, the Maha Ganayon Kyaung, nearby. It is home to several thousand monks of all ages ranging from 6 or 7 yrs to very old, who study, meditate, sleep and ........eat there. Definitely no TV, whisky or wild women.  There were lots of tourists gathered because, at about 1100am, the monks go to lunch. This is the equivalent of a chimpanzee's tea party; 'the monks lunch party'.  To the sound of clicking cameras and ( shoes off again ) the whiff of rice and smelly feet, thousands of monks, carrying their rice bowls, traipse through the open plan dining hall and sit down to midday nosh ( right ). The ordinary monks eat very simple meals.........in silence.


......as do the very young child monklets in the white robes ( left ). They are forbidden to talk. Something here reminded me of a soldiers' cookhouse ( c. 1970 ) where the duty officer had to walk around, inspect the food and receive any complaints. You know, the normal ones like "Sir, these peas are not green enough", or when asked, "How did you find your steak, Trooper Smith?" The reply being along the lines of "Well, sir, I just lifted up this chip and there it was".
The senior monks here sensibly avoid this humiliation.



Right: I think this must be the chief monk who was eating alone. He has quite a spread in front of him. As with the military system; rank has it's privileges.








Then on by a small fast motor boat across the river to another ancient capital, Ava ( now called Inwa ). I was by now getting quite competent at 'walking the plank' twixt boat and shore. At least I haven't fallen in yet. Our next mode of transport was pony and trap. In fact this vehicle is the norm in Burmese rural areas as well as the smaller towns. Left: Miss Tit Tit standing next to our chariot. She was terrified of the pony which was called Su Bang or something similar. Better than Michael Jackson or Fidel Castro as per the Indian camels.

We set off on what was a long hot dusty and bumpy drive around the few remains of this ancient city because what is left is well spread out. Many temples/stupas and disused monasteries were on our route and, naturally, involved much de-shoeing. Miss TT is very devout and knelt down and prayed in front of every Buddha we came across. That, for her, involved a lot of kneeling. The other guides did not do this. Maybe they were more 'footy' worshippers than the Buddha variety. Right: Miss TT praying to one of the Buddhas. You may also notice a small stuffed rodent sitting in front of it and to which she was also making obeisance.
I will try not bore you with too many more photos of the many temples, monasteries and Buddhas etc. which tend to become a little repetitive. 
I forgot, however, to take a pic of what is known as the Leaning Tower of Ava. This is a 90ft high crumbling and derelict tower which lists at an alarming angle and was badly damaged in an 1838 earthquake. The view from the top is not particularly inspiring but you certainly notice the precarious tilt as you climb up the spiral staircase, with loose wooden steps, on the outside of the building. Miss TT climbed part of the way up ( I don't think she likes heights, or loose wooden steps for that matter ). I managed to get up a ladder onto the open roof space where I found a group of young Burmese having a very jolly picnic with music ( ghetto blaster ) plus copious quantities of food and wine. I hope they managed to get down safely.

Left: This is a misty view from a disused monastery window across the river to Mandalay in the distance. The little girl took quite a shine to the rat. It could have become quite a protracted struggle to get it back and developed into a 'hostage' situation. Aided by Miss TT, I managed to secure it's release, unharmed, after some hard bargaining and handing over K200 ( 20 cents ). I think I was very lucky to get away with it so cheaply.













Right: A typical rural house in Ava. These are simple dwellings but beautifully built from various woods, teak and bamboo mainly, and the outside areas are always well swept. Poor people maybe, but clean, tidy and house proud. Entirely unsimilar to 'poor' areas of London, for example.


Back across the river and after lunch we visited a building near the Palace and Fort called the Shwenandaw Kyaung ( that 'shwe' again ). This was originally a royal apartment in the palace complex. It was in here that King Mindon died in 1878. His son, King Thibaw, repeatedly saw the ghost of his father there and had the building dismantled and reassembled outside the palace ( fort ) walls. It is a beautiful teak building with remains of some intricate carving and ornate gold decoration. It subsequently became a monastery. Just as well he moved it because otherwise it would have been destroyed by bombs in WW2, along with all the other palace buildings.


Next on the agenda was the 19th century Kuthodaw Paya. This temple/stupa is notable for the fact that it, and another adjacent temple, are encircled by many concentric rings of marble tablets, each contained in it's own little shrine, or mini-stupa ( badly shown on pic to left ). There are a total of 2503 ( yes, really ) of these slabs and shrines which have engraved on them all the 15 books of the Buddhist 'bible', the Tripitaka, plus added commentaries. They are collectively known as the World's Biggest Book. It is difficult to get a photograph from ground level which demonstrates the huge scale of this 'book'.
Something I didn't have time to do was to go to see a performance of the locally renowned Moustache Brothers. This is a three man satirical comedy group who regularly take the piss out of the Burmese government and, as a result, are equally regularly locked up. They seem to be able to carry on regardless even if often down to one or two performers at times. Their act is spoken in Burmese only so, I suspect, a lot of the jokes would be lost on non-Burmese speaking members of the audience, as well as the Burmese government. Despite this they are probably funnier than many of the dreadful and witless present day British 'comedians'.


Right: Before I forget, I took a photo of one of the many street-side stalls set up to provide the popular ( amongst the poor, mainly ) and cheap betel nut chew. The ingredients consist of a large betel tree leaf, a dollop of lime ( this is not the lime you put in your gin & tonic, this is white lime as in Calcium Hydroxide, Ca(OH)2, which you might use to clean the drains with ), some cut up betel nut, a dash of chopped tobacco and maybe a sprinkling of aniseed or cloves to taste. This is wrapped into a mouth sized portion and chewed resulting in a slightly hallucinogenic effect, black and red stained teeth and lips, rotted gums, and scalded throat plus copious quantities of red saliva to be spat out ( note the advertising of Oral B! ). I think I would be equally happy to chew some cardboard soaked in battery acid and sprinkled with iron filings. Whatever turns you on, I suppose.



Just in time to get up Mandalay Hill to the temple up there,  to witness the sunset over the Irrawaddy ( left ). These 'sunset and sunrise viewings' appear to be a staple of the tourist diet worldwide. I tend not to do sunrise viewings because I am asleep then. There is a memorial up here to the Royal Berkshire Regiment who re-took the fort from the Japs in March 1945.
Shoes off and on nine times today. 


A slightly early start tomorrow morning with a pick up by the marvellous Mr Myo for an eight hour drive over the hills to Inle Lake.



Thursday, 16 February 2012

MANDALAY - BURMA ( part 1 )

1st - 2nd Feb 2012

Mandalay Hill, in the mist, north of the city

"On the road to Mandalay, where the flyin' fishes play" as the words, written by Rudyard Kipling, go. Do they bollocks! I believe Mr Kipling was not in Burma very long; maybe just for a night stop-over when, after a few too many pink gins at the bar of the Strand Hotel in Rangoon, he wrote this poem. There are certainly no flyin' fishes in, or over, the Irrawaddy. At least no more than there are pink elephants and green spiders.
Early morning, 0515hrs and pitch black, we boarded by means of a long wobbly wooden plank the good ship Schwe ( that word again ) Keinnery and left the riverside at Old Bagan bound for Mandalay on the 13 hour voyage up the Irrawaddy. It left in the dark so I hadn’t a clue how the skipper knew where he was going. They probably do it from memory and cross their fingers that they don't hit a sandbank. It was a normal river boat, nothing luxurious, but had fairly comfortable reclining chair seating and a bar and restaurant upstairs plus an upper ‘promenade’ deck with deck chairs. It had the capacity for about 150 passengers. There were only six of us ( tourists ) on board including two amusing English ladies from Kent and a Frenchman from Lyons . Plenty of room.

The journey up the river was uneventful and there was not really much of great interest to see sailing through the flat countryside. At this time of year the river is low and many sandbanks have to be avoided. At some potentially very shallow parts a chap hung over the bow with a long bamboo pole to check the depth and yelled words of encouragement or caution to the helmsman up above. I think they were following, or avoiding, a line of bamboo poles sticking out of the water.
Left: There were occasional tugs towing rafts of teak logs downstream. These rafts had temporary houses built on top of them for the workers to sleep and cook in.

     
Right: We also passed one of the super-luxury Pandaw ships, a restored ex-British Irrawaddy Flotilla Company vessel from before WW2. These do cruises up and down the river with comfort levels and tours ( and prices ) similar to the Indian ‘Palace on Wheels’ train, I read.
It was noticeable how little bird life was present; just a few seagull types. No sign of any fish rising either, let alone flyin' fishes or the strange bulbous headed Irrawaddy dolphin that I'd read about. Maybe that was just another figment of the inventive Mr Kipling's imagination. 

Left: On the east bank approaching Mandalay. Not sure what this temple complex is but it looked quite impressive. We arrived, again in the dark, at 1900hrs. The skipper was using spot-lights to do the landing.

Mandalay was the last Burmese royal capital city with King Thibaw as ruler until the British removed him and packed him and family off on holiday to India in 1885. It is a pretty uninspiring place, low rise and sprawling with a sort of street grid system where most of the streets are known by numbers ( 1 - 50 E-W, and 51 - 100 N-S ) It is situated below Mandalay Hill, which was reputedly visited by Buddha, and from which it got it’s name. It is also mostly very clean and well swept if a little on the basic side. These Burmese take a pride in their local environment and enjoy a bit of personal space, unlike some neighbouring countries to the west that I could mention.
I had a lady guide for the next two days. Her name was spelt Htet Htet Wai Hiang. She pronounced it ‘Tit Tit Wee Ing’ which, I thought, was not very flattering. I don’t know who was responsible for translating the squiggly Burmese writing into Roman script, but he, or she, must have had a tin ear because the spelling you read in the translated aural version often bears scant resemblance to the Burmese pronounciation. As a case in point, the word for their currency, the Kyat ( as spelt in guide books ), is pronounced more like ‘Chet’. It was probably done by some well refreshed British civil servant in a couple of hours after a very good lunch.
The only other Burmese word with which I have become familiar is 'Mingulabar', which means hello, or good morning, or good evening or whenever you greet someone.


We started off by visiting another blinking temple, the Mahamuni Paya, which is extraordinary for the fact that the star feature in this enormous complex is the highly venerated 13ft high Buddha ( right ) which attracts thousands of devotees daily to stick gold leaf squares on it. The Buddha now looks very lumpy with about six inches of solid gold splodged onto the exterior after years of gold leaf being added. Women ( including Miss Tit Tit ) are not allowed to approach this Buddha.



..... but I was able to walk up to and around the back of this lump of gold and watched as a continuous stream of men came up and each stuck several small gold leaf patches onto it ( left ). I was working out if I could accidently dislodge an inch or two. This Buddha is also subjected to it’s teeth and face being scrubbed in a ceremony at 4.00am every morning. It all gets stranger and stranger.






Right: I'm not sure if it was in this complex, or another ( who cares ) where there are some ancient bronze statues which supposedly have miraculous healing powers. You are meant to rub the part of the statue which corresponds to that bit of your body which needs rectification. You can see from the photo by the parts which shine, or have been completely rubbed away, those areas which most commonly trouble the afflicted believers.










Next on the agenda was a visit to a factory where tapestries, wood-carvings and marionettes are made. As with all these ‘workshops’, the skill, effort and sheer time which goes into producing a complex design and beautiful end product, all painstakingly hand made using primitive equipment, is not reflected in the price charged. The ladies making these highly intricate tapestries sit and stitch with minute accuracy for a solid eight hours per day, every day of the week. The pay they get for this work is minimal and the cost of the finished product is small for the labour put in. Nowhere in the western ‘first’ world could such skill or work ethic be found. Noone would be prepared to do this for any price, I suspect.




Left: An array of exquisite embroidery and cheap at the price. The wood carvings and beautifully dressed large and small puppets were equally impressive. Truly a labour of love or, more likely, no other means of earning a living.
Then on to one of the places where they make and sell the gold leaf. This is another extraordinary workshop. They take a small ( memory stick sized ) 12 gram mini gold bar and initially heat and then roll it into a 5 metre long gold strip. This strip is cut into 200 pieces. Each of these 200 pieces is progressively hammered, by hand, into 1600 2” squares of tissue thin gold leaf. I tried to get the details written down correctly, but don't bank on them! The hammering is done in 30 minute sessions, timed by a coconut shell with a hole in it sitting in a bucket of water until it sinks, over a total aggregate of 5 hours hammering. I didn't ask why they don't just use a clock. Each little almost transparent square of gold leaf costs K1000 ( about 1.2 US$ ). I bought two as souvenirs. This gold leaf is the stuff that the worshippers stick onto the Buddhas etc. It is all very weird to my way of thinking.

Right: The hammerers and the coconut shell timer in the brown bowl of water. Keeps them fit, no doubt. I had a go and it is jolly hard work. Maybe they have a machine that does it much more efficiently when the tourists' backs are turned.














Left: This is the girl who did all the explaining. She sold me two bits of gold leaf but failed to sell me lots of the more expensive gold items.








We then went on the old Royal Palace complex in the centre of the city. This is a big fortified area. Each crenellated outside wall is about 2 miles long and has elaborate Chinese style watchtowers along it’s length and a large covered gate in each side plus a 50 yard wide water filled moat surrounding it all. It became a military base in British days known as Fort Dufferin. It was bombed flat in WW2 and all the old palace structures were destroyed. The bloody Japs were to blame.



Right: Replicas of, supposedly, the original palace buildings have now been rebuilt ( with red corrugated iron roofs ) and look a little tacky and artificial, and the central area is open, at a price, to tourists. Most of the tree covered inside area is still a Burmese army base which is strictly out of bounds. This is looking down on the central palace buildings where King Mindon and finally King Thibaw presided. The pic was taken from the top of a rather rickety tower. Miss Tit Tit was completely knackered when she got to the top. It wasn't that high but she could scarcely get her breath back. She is not fit. Obviously been neglecting her physical jerks in the mornings.




Left: King Mindon on his throne. There are other dummies around the place; supposedly look-alikes of long deceased royal personages.




















Right: A part of the wall and moat. Alongside much of the railings on the footpath between street and moat they have built a sort ‘excercise’ route with push-me-pull-you machines and things you stand on and swivel your hips plus lots of other body toning devices. They were being well used, I noticed, on leaving the city early one morning. Not by me, I hasten to add. 
The majority of people in this part of the world ( Thailand and Vietnam included ) get up very early and regularly do some form of exercise, in the dark, before going to work. I also saw squads of ladies and gents doing choreographed dance routines and complicated things with long sticks. They take their physical jerks quite seriously before going away to smoke their heads off and chew the carcinogenic betel nut gunge. Miss Tit Tit must be an exception to all this. 



Then after lunch by small boat up-river to Mingun about 10 miles north on the western bank. Myself and Miss Tit Tit had a boat to ourselves. Left: Boarding involved clambering from boat to boat from the shore along more wobbly planks. One needs to be relatively sober to complete this boarding procedure without falling in.











Right: The deck of our boat. The skipper plus his sister and mother were the crew. They supplied refreshments and got us safely there and back.


Mingun, another ancient royal site is famous for three things. An unfinished stupa, a large bell and a big white pagoda.





Left: This unfinished construction was to have been the biggest stupa in the world. It was the brainchild of a previous king and building commenced in the late 18th century. What you see here is only the remains of the base level. It would indeed have been enormous and by far and away the biggest stupa in the universe but the king died in 1819 before it was completed and the project died with him. I imagine the workers and the next regime got supremely bored of this mammoth task. It has also some big cracks and much damage caused by earthquakes. In fact it resembles nothing more than a gigantic pile of bricks; millions of them. You can climb to the top up a series of rickety debris-strewn steps but, believe it or not, you are obliged to take off shoes and socks to do this. I need to use my feet again so wasn't tempted. Inside the doorway in the white front porch is, yes you've guessed correctly, a Buddha ( rather a small and unimpressive one ) plus collection boxes for the 'maintenance' of this heap of rubble.





Right: Then there is the bell. Another mega-project by the same size obsessed king and made in 1808. It is cast in bronze, is 16 feet in diameter, 12 feet tall and weighs 90 tons. It is the largest intact bell in the world. There is a much bigger and heavier one in Moscow but that is cracked and not hung. The done thing here is to climb inside and get your friend to whack it with a big heavy stick provided for the purpose. It does indeed make a loud 'BONG', and I only heard it from the outside.










Left: Lastly, a strange white pagoda. We climbed up to the top of this ( sans sabots, obviously ) where a couple more Buddhas were waiting in situ, together with a security guard who expected a small donation to reward his sedentary efforts. I was told what the significance of this pagoda is but, to be honest, I've now forgotten.
That was Mingun and concluded the first part of the tour of Mandalay and environs. 
Quite an interesting and enjoyable day and I only had to do the shoes off/on routine 5 times.