MORE STOCKHOLM

 27th - 30th Aug 2020

The Vasa. An unfortunate 17th century Swedish warship.

So much to see and do around this city. I started with a walk around the central island of Gamla Stan, the city's geographic and historic heart, with its old cobbled streets, souvenir shops, plus many bars and restaurants. 

Left: A typical pavement bar on Storforget (Square). It is normally packed with tourists but not so many in evidence at the moment...which suits me fine!

Right: The Postmuseum on Storforget. I didn't go in. It features lots of stamps and old postal carriages apparently, but is an example of the many very impressive buildings around the city. 

Left: Märten Trotzigs Gränd. Stockholms narrowest street. Obviously popular with graffiti artists.

On the north of the little island is the Kungliga Slottet, the Royal Palace. This pic (right) is just of the rear end of it. Built on the site of the burned down (in 1697) Kronor Castle, it took 57 years to complete and the first Royal Family moved in in 1754. With 608 rooms it is the world's largest royal palace still used for it's original purpose.

I went inside for a visit, but that comes later.

Left: A Royal Guard at one of the several sentry boxes around the Palace. Very smart.

Right: A statue on the eastern shoreline. I forget who of, but probably one of the Gustavs. The name Gustav features regularly in the  Swedish  monarchy.

The interesting thing to note about this statue, and without exception all the statues I saw (and there were many) is that, unlike any other city I have been to, there were no pigeons sitting on them. There were pigeons elsewhere, but they didn't sit on the statues! Have the cunning Swedes discovered some effective anti-pigeon 

coating for statues? If so our town in UK could do with some! Further investigation is required.







Wandering on just across a bridge north of Gamla Stan I passed the Riksdagshuset, the Swedish Parliament building (left). The frontage here conceals much more behind.

Right: A pit-stop at one of the many jolly bars along Strandväger, an elegant boulevard, towards the island of Djurgärdan on my way to the Vasa Museum. These Swedish street names and places are a bugger to spell and even more difficult to pronounce. I never got to grips with Swedish pronunciation except to say the word 'Hej' pronounced rather rudely and abruptly 'Hay' which means 'hello'.

Across another bridge to the island of Djurgården which is a beautiful park-like island, popular with walkers, joggers and picnickers, and features several very grand museums. The pedalos did not appear to have attracted too many pedallers.

It is all very well signposted. As said, there are more museums than you can shake a stick at here and it would take weeks to visit them all. 

Left: The Nordiska Museet, which is Sweden's largest cultural-history museum. A vast edifice. No time for that.......

So on to the Vasamuseet, a must for any passing tourist. This houses the old Swedish warship, the Vasa, named after Gustav Eriksson Vasa, King Gustav 1, who freed Sweden from the clutches of the Danes in 1523. In 1626, Sweden was again at war, along with Estonia and Finland, against Poland (haven't a clue why...maybe they had undercut the building trade). Gustavus Adolphus, King Gustav 11, commissioned a brand new 'top of the range' warship to be the prestigious emblem of the Swedish fleet. It featured an extra deck of guns and expensive foreign craftsmen were employed to carve an elaborate and impressive back end (transom?) plus other vividly painted carved decorations. Construction, starting in 1626, took over two years and the resulting product was a fearsomely impressive looking vessel, 69 metres long and 49 metres high and a work of art. Gustav must have been very proud of the finished article.

The lighting in this museum was very dim, as I discovered is the case in many other museums. Why? I suppose to add to the 'atmosphere', but it made it difficult to take any worthwhile photos. The pic at the top was taken from a postcard!

Left: The elaborate and once brightly coloured 'transom'.

Right: ......and a model of the ship, which was at least well lit.

Anyway, on 10th August 1628, with great pomp and ceremony and an admiring audience the ship , pride of the Swedish Crown, set sail with a company of about 400 sailors and soldiers, on it's maiden voyage from Stockholm harbour. It had gone a mere 1,200 metres when they turned to starboard and the ship rolled over and sank. I can only imagine the reaction of the onlookers and Gustav 11. I suspect heads rolled.

The problem was that they had added an extra gun deck and heightened the back end but had foolishly not considered to widen the beam (width) of the ship to compensate. It was top heavy. Many perished. Oh dear! Back to the drawing board. 

The ship lay at the bottom of the sea encased in mud for 333 years before, in 1961, it was raised in many bits and reconstructed. We were told that the resulting ship on display is 95% original. There are 4 floors to this museum dedicated to artefacts and videos relating to it's somewhat disappointing service life. "Yo ho ho and a bottle of schnapps" indeed.

Then on to the Viking Museum nearby. This was amusing, largely because a guide (free of charge) called Erik, gave a witty and informative tour to an informal group of us; me and four French youngsters. He was obviously a Viking enthusiast, very knowledgeable and had agreat sense of humour. 

Left: Erik , on left, and a Viking farmer.

There were lots of Viking things and dioramas on display, including this rune-stone which depicted the Viking alphabet, in 'runes'. I forgot to add my name in 'runic' in chalk. Someone has at the bottom, above the 'bottom', which spells 'butt'.

The term Viking comes from their language where 'Vik' meant 'bay' or 'inlet' from which they sailed. Vikin is a specific bay. As you know they came from present day Scandinavia around the 8th to 11th centuries and were hairy, great travellers and rather pro-active tourists. 

I was then given a 15 minute very high-tech underground 'buggy' ride through a Viking adventure journey with much realistic action scenery. Difficult to describe but impressive.

To note: entry to these museums, like much in Sweden, is not cheap! Vasa and Viking museums cost about £15 equivalent each, and that was with discount for being 'of a certain age'.

I am writing these posts back in (Covid-obsessed) UK, in retrospect, but have now at least managed to crack the Google difficulties; for the time being. Much more to follow when I get my arse in gear. 

TO STOCKHOLM

27th - 30th Aug 2020

Stockholm. Looking north across the Riddarfjärden to Gamla Stan. The Old City.

Back to reality. I was determined to escape the dictatorship we now live under in UK thanks to the 'Controlavirus' scaremongering and the paranoia this has generated. So, having read a bit about it, I decided to give Sweden a try where, I was informed, they take this situation somewhat more pragmatically. It can't be any worse than UK. Can it?

I flew to Stockholm Arlanda from London Heathrow courtesy of British Airways. Heathrow (Terminal 5) resembled a temple of the walking dead. Zombie-like creatures, both inside and outside the airport, were wearing face-masks or visors, or both…even in areas where it was not required to do so.

Right: Some of the walking dead.

I hasten to add I did not put on my flimsy snot-rag until entering the secure area where the wearing of them is compulsory. As quickly as I could I found a café in the departure lounge to sit down where, of course, you can take the damned things off. It is as if many of the population of this country now feel obliged to wear them even when not required or sensible to do so; or actively want to because they are scared witless bedwetters. Perhaps they just don’t want to ‘be different’ and risk attracting criticism. This is the unfortunate result of successful scaremongering and brainwashing as we should all know by now. As I hope is realised, and was previously promulgated by medical ‘experts', these ‘face coverings’ are of little or no effective protection against a virus, as opposed to bacteria. Indeed they can merely collect and spread them if not used correctly, but they do carry a political message..ie. 'be fearful'. 

I’ve done an interesting, if amateur, experiment to demonstrate their ineffectiveness involving a vapour cigarette! Exhale through the mask and see where the vapour goes. That's where any virus goes having previously collected  on the mask. Try it.

Left: The Wetherspoon’s edict at Heathrow T5 departures (I hope you can click on to enlarge). Have you ever seen anything so painfully bossy, fear inducing and patronising? I am fed up of being told to ‘stay safe’! I was in the army and got shot at regularly in various locations. They missed (you may be disappointed about that). 
Now it would be: Sergeant to his men “Right lads, fix bayonets! On the whistle over the top and let ‘em have it!”. Pte Wimp, “Sorry Sarge, can’t go until it’s considered safe to do so". I despair.

After being regaled over loudspeakers to maintain a ‘safe' 2 metre ‘social’ distance (regardless of wearing face-nappies) it was onto a packed BA Airbus where all seats were occupied and any social distancing was impossible. Lots of escapees like me I presume. We were sitting elbow to elbow. Face-nappies to remain on until they brought round the complimentary soft drinks and crisps whereupon the masks could be removed and flapped around. Then back on again. It is all so utterly illogical!

On arrival at Arlanda, Stockholm, it was inspiring to be confronted in the arrivals hall by ranks of security officers and other officials, all barefaced. That set the tone and some (not all by any means; many are now totally indoctrinated) incoming passengers followed suit. What a relief! There are no restrictions or papers to fill in on entering Sweden. Just a welcome and cursory passport check. Even my clanking bag of duty free passed uninspected (thankfully, because being aware of Swedish booze prices I had stocked up to the max and maybe beyond). From then on, by express train and Metro (or Tunnelbana) to my hotel, I saw no local wearing a mask. Stress levels and and anxiety were duly reduced.

I was to stay the first two nights at the Långholmen Hotell (right), an ex-prison on an island to the south west of the city centre. P.S. No misprint. Hotells here are spelt with two 'll's. Can't think why, but if that is what they want to do to waste ink that's fine by me.

Left: After checking in. 

By the way, I am having trouble with this blog and layout/font etc. Google has invented a new 'interface' which is crap and has caused much complaint from other users. So we were advised to revert to the old 'interface' which is now not performing as well as it used to. Such is technological advance.

Right: 'E' Wing in which my cell was located. There was an amazing lack of prison officers (or 'screws' as I believe they are known by inmates).
Very pleasant staff in the prison 'canteen' too which had a decent, if pricey, menu.

Left: My cell, which was surprisingly comfortable with flat-screen TV with many channels (including BBC 'Woke' World...Yuk!), en-suite bathroom and a soft bed.

Stockholm, as I discovered, consists of more water than land. Everything seems to be on various islands with channels running between them. It is a very charming sea/landscape and served by an efficient Metro, bus and tram service. I decided to take a 45 minute walk from prison to the Old City, Gamla Stan, which is more or less in the centre.

En-route I passed this lonely looking scooter dumped on the roadside. I thought nothing of it except that it will be nicked by someone before too long.

It's all about boats, and more boats, tied up to every available mooring place. Some small, some large and extravagant.......  

......some with weird characters stuck on them.

I was hoping to use the 'Hop on Hop off' ferry which takes you around the islands, but discovered it has been suspended due to the 'virus' because it can get overcrowded (I was told). Boring! 

Although the city is practically normal in nearly all respects I discoverd that some facilities and entertainments have been closed....for the duration.

Left: More discarded scooters. As I quickly found out these are dumped all over the city. There must be thousands of them. 

It is an excellent system wherby you download an 'App' on your phone (with credit card details) and if you want to use a scooter you simply pick one up, scan a panel on the scooter and off you go! I believe it costs about 2 Krone (20p) for a minute or maybe a distance. You then just leave it wherever you stop. Brilliant idea! Of course it couldn't work in UK due to some jobsworth regulations no doubt. Also, in true British fashion, they would probably be quickly stolen or dumped in the river. 

Another discovery; the Swedes are a very trusting and trustworthy race!

I have only just started this post, but having a few problems with the 'Blogger' interface so, until I can work it out, stopping here for the time being. Very frustrating!

LULOK ISLAND. PART 6. THE CAPITAL

1st - ? June 2020

A slight hiccup at this point..........to be continued......on release.....hopefully.

LULOK ISLAND. PART 5. THE COAST

28th - 31st May 2020

Cloaca Beach. Vörmit

Onwards to the town of Vörmit which lies, or squats, on the south-east coast about 20 KiloSpurtz (KSpz) from Colostepec. It was a three hour journey by bus (similar in speed and comfort to the previous) along some 'interesting' coastal roads. It is a town famed (in Lulok) for its beaches and 'entertainment' (see Pattaya blog for comparison). A resort of choice for the better-off  and uninhibited Lulokians.

Right: On approach from the south through the suburbs into Vörmit.

It didn't look too promising, but merely an illusion. 

It was quite late when we arrived and after being dumped at the bus station the first sign of lodgings we came across was this place (left). Even by Lulokian standards this looked a bit downmarket.

We then stumbled upon this place, the Vörmit Grande (right) which was by the seaside. Not too bad at all, and cheap.

Left: It even boasted a Lulok flag flying proudly above the main entrance. 

Right: .....and a delightful patio on the top floor facing south with a scenic view over the coast. Plus a bar (closed). It required a bit of reglazing, but plenty of welcome fresh air.....

.......which was just as well because the view to the north was over the dye works (left). As I quickly discovered, dye works use a lot of urine and other foul substances to enhance the process. As such a southerly breeze was relatively fresh and welcome. A northerly one was less than agreeable...indeed that is possibly where Vörmit gets its name from.

By chance we had arrived during the annual four day cultural festival, the 'Vörmit Musicengröeppengrâbbitfest'. Apparently this extravaganza attracts about 5000 visitors. About 10,000 residents take the opportunity to leave.

Right: A party of exiting residents.

Left: The main stage, which appeared to be covered by a large mosquito net. We discovered that this was to protect the 'artistes' from unwelcome bombardment by all kinds of projectiles, often rather smelly ones.

There were several musical, and other less salubrious, events taking place. Although Lulok is not renowned for its popular music contribution on the world stage, the local 'Headliner' act, The SqueeGees (right), performed to rapturous, somewhat heavily infused, audiences. This group was due represent Lulok at the Eurovision Song Contest two years ago (even though not recognised by Europe...or anyone else) but were found to have attempted to bribe and threaten the organisers and were subsequently banned in perpetuity.

Left: A trio of enthusiastic festival-goers who seemed to be enjoying themselves enormously (no pun intended). They requested anonymity.

Right: There were some rather extraordinary characters present. I'm not sure what to make of this chap's breeding but he certainly wasn't lacking in the aural department. Probably good for stereophonic reception. He might have been the Mayor for all I know.

Left: .......or this trendy individual. It rather reinforced my view that dental care is not high on the agenda here.

Right: As with virtually everywhere else in the world Lulok has not been spared the poisonous invasion of MacDonalds. I have a feeling that this establishment, on the outskirts of town, would not come up to Mr MacD's low standards.

The downtown bars were interesting. 

Left: Inside the 'Lolita-a-Go-Go' where several friendly ladies were keen to introduce themselves. I remember I managed to do 'a-Go-Go' relatively unscathed.

Right: Another beautiful enchantreuse wistfully hoping for the chance to have a chat. To be frank I think she was a bit pissed.

Left: A colourful lady decorating the street.













Right: The route back to the hotel past the dye works. You had to be a bit careful where you put your feet.

On returning to the hotel late on the second night we were confronted by this happy Conga of well lubricated visitors celebrating the Spring Harvest. Nikkla couldn't help herself. She joined in (3rd from the left of photo). 

Right: In the recovery suite afterwards. The thing on her head was a locally designed apparatus which was 'guaranteed' to stimulate the brain and provide a feeling of elation and cancel out recent memory. I'm not sure if it worked because Nikkla has limited recent memory at the best of times. Certainly of nights like previous.

Down to the beach (left). There was an off-shore breeze and rather a whiff in the air. To a beachcombing enthusiast this would be a paradise. It was noticeable how few 'sunseekers' were relaxing on the golden/brown (soggy) sands. To be honest I think we were lucky not to have picked up something rather nasty. Nobody had suggested that the 'famed' Cloaca Beach was noted for its pristine cleanliness. Annabella had arrived in her bikini but felt that she should have worn a HAZMAT suit.

Right: Nikkla sampling some local pigs milk cheese. A very unique taste, apparently. She suggested that those cheeses could more usefully be used as weapons.

Left: Annabella after being ripped off when exchanging her money into the local Gröne currency. She ended up with two spliffs and a bag of rübbles (there are 100 rübbles in a gröne).

Right: Nikkla posing on a balcony overlooking the 'posh' end of Vörmit.  They will probably be using this photo for their tourist catalogue adverts.

Left: ....and buying an apple from a local. Nikkla is so kind to the 'underprivileged', as she sees them. She probably paid enough to refuel this lady's Lamborgini in her holiday home in Monaco.

Lastly, for the moment, an embarrassing pic of me dancing with a local at the Festival. Certainly nothing untoward about this. She didn't even ask to be paid.

That was a brief rundown on our visit to the cultural town of Vörmit. On next along the south coast and then back to the capital, Zlakalitze.

Stay with it. More to follow.